Had lunch with Midori recently and the conversation gravitated to the person Midori is dating, who is almost 10 years older. She has never dated younger or similar aged men before solely for the reason that she doesn't find them matured enough for her liking.
I wonder if its really age that determines the level of maturity or the conditioning/background/up-bringing/experiences that determines the level of maturity. I suppose being an aged person means you would have more experiences, but a young person could feasibly have an accelerated "life" such that the person is beyond his/her age. Food for thought.
+++
Capon : "Banker Wanker, what time is the meeting next week?"
Banker Wanker : "Capon, 9.30 a.m"
Capon : *Walks away without saying anything*
Banker Wanker : Mentally throws 100 shirukens towards Capon's slimy back.
Banker Wanker : "I will miss you"
Soulmate : "Me too"
Banker Wanker : "Life is such"
Soulmate : "Ce'st la vie"
Banker Wanker feels like 100 shirukens had just pierce through his heart.
Banker Wanker : "I don't have anything for myself, I have given too much. I just want something for myself"
The Queen : "Do you think I have much?"
Banker Wanker : "Your centre is family, mine has always been a different composite. In any case, for once, this conversation is not about you. Its about me"
Banker Wanker trying to be frank, but feels that he has to continue on this road of trepidation for Bumblebee's sake.
+++
Procastination is such a disease. For the longest time I have thought about branching out, leaving Bankerland and the corporate world and just having a swing at something entrepreneurial. Something deep down says that I have the tools for it, but making that first big step is like standing at the edge of the cliff of Niagara Falls, knowing that your one step needs to cover 1km across. Gulp. No balls, no rewards, no glory. But I feel that recent developments are pushing me towards that edge and very soon, I may have to make that big leap across the abyss and see where I land on the other side.
+++
I don't care what people say, and while I am not really a golfing fan, I think people should leave Tiger Woods alone cause he has a right to seek his own happiness and so be it if it takes the form of promiscuity and random sex. Go Tiger, go sink more birdies :)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Welcome to Bankerland
Overheard in Bankerland this week:
--Small Dick :"Eh, Puchong Boy, where is my scientific calculator"
(Small Dick is actually quite threatened by Puchong Boy who is a newbie)
Puchong Boy :"In my bag, I am almost done with it"
Small Dick : "Faster la, I got some important calculations to do"
Banker Wanker : *Rolls eyes* ...yar right, calculating the length of
your dick issit?
-- General's Secretary : "Banker Wanker, can you drive boss to meeting
today? He got no car"
Banker Wanker : "Can, let me go and buy a car this morning first"
*with dead pan look*
General's Secretary : "Hehe" *nervous guffaw*
Bad enough I am underpaid, have to waste petrol from additional weight
in the car. Lan ciao bin.
--Banker Wanker : "Capon, this ain't my deal,its Babi Guling and his team
head's deal, what am I doing here and why am I running it?"
Capon : "The General wants you to be in because you know the client"
Banker Wanker : "But I already have so many on my plate, Baby Guling and his boss only have ONE deal currently"
Capon : :"Its ok, you can combine resources"
Banker Wanker : *Gives niamah smiling look*
Capon, I wish that you will grow a dick back, then we can capon you again just for the heck of it.
+++
Talent management, wow, what a buzz word. Bankerland is embarking on some talent management programme. They require "potential" candidates to fill up this lengthy profile form whick reeks of "Actually hor, we in HR do not really know who the talents are out there, so we are using this form and sending it to everyone who are holding senior managerial positions and above to see if there are any talents out there".
Banker Wanker :"Capon, you know about this?"
Capon :"Yes, you fall within the bank's critical talent pool for
high performers and have been identified as potential
successor in leadership sucession planning"
Banker Wanker only hears blah blah blah blah. Sharpens knife for capon session. *Smiling dementedly just thinking about it*
+++
Seriously, I think I have perfected my dead pan, blur sotong, look interested, smiling dementedly looks.
General :"We need to follow up with this client on the pitch, other banks
are infront apparently. Please call the finance manager to see
whats going on"
Banker Wanker : *Wide eyed, put on interested look* "Yes, yes, we should do that, ok got to go" *runs like a guy being chased by 5
butch females on Harley Davidson bikes adorned with
battery operated dildos*
+++
Goldman Sachs just got an advisory license in Kay-El. Any takers?
--Small Dick :"Eh, Puchong Boy, where is my scientific calculator"
(Small Dick is actually quite threatened by Puchong Boy who is a newbie)
Puchong Boy :"In my bag, I am almost done with it"
Small Dick : "Faster la, I got some important calculations to do"
Banker Wanker : *Rolls eyes* ...yar right, calculating the length of
your dick issit?
-- General's Secretary : "Banker Wanker, can you drive boss to meeting
today? He got no car"
Banker Wanker : "Can, let me go and buy a car this morning first"
*with dead pan look*
General's Secretary : "Hehe" *nervous guffaw*
Bad enough I am underpaid, have to waste petrol from additional weight
in the car. Lan ciao bin.
--Banker Wanker : "Capon, this ain't my deal,its Babi Guling and his team
head's deal, what am I doing here and why am I running it?"
Capon : "The General wants you to be in because you know the client"
Banker Wanker : "But I already have so many on my plate, Baby Guling and his boss only have ONE deal currently"
Capon : :"Its ok, you can combine resources"
Banker Wanker : *Gives niamah smiling look*
Capon, I wish that you will grow a dick back, then we can capon you again just for the heck of it.
+++
Talent management, wow, what a buzz word. Bankerland is embarking on some talent management programme. They require "potential" candidates to fill up this lengthy profile form whick reeks of "Actually hor, we in HR do not really know who the talents are out there, so we are using this form and sending it to everyone who are holding senior managerial positions and above to see if there are any talents out there".
Banker Wanker :"Capon, you know about this?"
Capon :"Yes, you fall within the bank's critical talent pool for
high performers and have been identified as potential
successor in leadership sucession planning"
Banker Wanker only hears blah blah blah blah. Sharpens knife for capon session. *Smiling dementedly just thinking about it*
+++
Seriously, I think I have perfected my dead pan, blur sotong, look interested, smiling dementedly looks.
General :"We need to follow up with this client on the pitch, other banks
are infront apparently. Please call the finance manager to see
whats going on"
Banker Wanker : *Wide eyed, put on interested look* "Yes, yes, we should do that, ok got to go" *runs like a guy being chased by 5
butch females on Harley Davidson bikes adorned with
battery operated dildos*
+++
Goldman Sachs just got an advisory license in Kay-El. Any takers?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sidekick - Redux
Weekend Checklist:
-- Puts on game face and store Banker Wanker away. Check.
-- Thoughts on Soulmate and other soul wrenching thoughts and memories put away in secret hiding place. Check
-- Puts on armour and spikes to protect fragile heart. Check
Steps out to bravely face the weekend.
Monday morning : Back to Banker Wanker mode. It feels familiar and comforting.
+++
Unspoken, but I think Soulmate and myself have said our farewell and its time to move on, well, at least for Soulmate. As for me, I will fester and let time sooth the weary soul (unconvinced), until the next time something reminds me of the "what ifs", "what could have beens" and how life can be ironic and cruel at times. Sidekick once said, "We just got to keep on swimming" (from Dory of Finding Nemo).Ok Sidekick, Banker Wanker will continue to swim into the abyss.
I can't take so many farewells, so ain't attending some of them. Its like a scab that won't heal.
+++
I know I ain't jinxing anything anymore since its almost a done deal, but I wanted to tell Sidekick that I am really happy for you and that I will miss you in Bankerland. My happiness for you overides the sadness and we will always be inexorably linked by our time spent here in Bankerland, and that truly is something that have defined my life, who I am and what I will be in the future...I am certain and I feel lucky to have crossed paths with you. Thank you for teaching this old dog a trick or two and if you ever need "saving", you know where to find me, in my pseudo Batcave waiting to save the world again, with my Sidekick and confidante.
-- Puts on game face and store Banker Wanker away. Check.
-- Thoughts on Soulmate and other soul wrenching thoughts and memories put away in secret hiding place. Check
-- Puts on armour and spikes to protect fragile heart. Check
Steps out to bravely face the weekend.
Monday morning : Back to Banker Wanker mode. It feels familiar and comforting.
+++
Unspoken, but I think Soulmate and myself have said our farewell and its time to move on, well, at least for Soulmate. As for me, I will fester and let time sooth the weary soul (unconvinced), until the next time something reminds me of the "what ifs", "what could have beens" and how life can be ironic and cruel at times. Sidekick once said, "We just got to keep on swimming" (from Dory of Finding Nemo).Ok Sidekick, Banker Wanker will continue to swim into the abyss.
I can't take so many farewells, so ain't attending some of them. Its like a scab that won't heal.
+++
I know I ain't jinxing anything anymore since its almost a done deal, but I wanted to tell Sidekick that I am really happy for you and that I will miss you in Bankerland. My happiness for you overides the sadness and we will always be inexorably linked by our time spent here in Bankerland, and that truly is something that have defined my life, who I am and what I will be in the future...I am certain and I feel lucky to have crossed paths with you. Thank you for teaching this old dog a trick or two and if you ever need "saving", you know where to find me, in my pseudo Batcave waiting to save the world again, with my Sidekick and confidante.
Friday, December 4, 2009
T.G.I.F NOT
Songs that were playing in my head during this morning's 3a.m milk run for Bumblebee:
- Alone(Hearts)
- How Can I Tell Her (Lobo)
- Theme song from Airwolf (feeding Bumblebee feels like a mission. Cry.make milk asap.pick up.placement on lap.put napkin.aim teat into cavity.feed.burp.feed.burp.back to cot.DONE)
Current state of mind: Brewing between denial and acceptance, with a chance of prolonged mental anguish. Sunny days not expected in the foreseeable future, hailstorms and thunder likely. Cloudy skies definite.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland last month:
- "I think for this one, we need to doggy-style it la, bang bang"
- "We shall optimise our resources and ride this out"
Banker Wanker : "Niamah"
- "Fark, Lanciao (CEO) is a farker la. Smart and rich but with an EQ of an ant. Sorry, ants have higher EQ. Ok, ant poop"
Banker Wanker : "Muahahaha"
+++
My prophecies for next year:
- The economy will continue to be bearish though the job market in the financial sector would likely be fairly robust. There will be more attrition from Bankerland and there will be senior management movements, which will lead to even more attrition. Bankerland will continue to lose market share.
- Somebody is going to sleep with somebody in the office. It won't be Banker Wanker cause he never have such luck.(*throws away stupid 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
- A hot girl will join Bankerland, specifically, in Banker Wanker's department (oh God, let it be. *Rummages through bin for discarded 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
+++
What does it say when I don't look forward to weekends anymore?
- Alone(Hearts)
- How Can I Tell Her (Lobo)
- Theme song from Airwolf (feeding Bumblebee feels like a mission. Cry.make milk asap.pick up.placement on lap.put napkin.aim teat into cavity.feed.burp.feed.burp.back to cot.DONE)
Current state of mind: Brewing between denial and acceptance, with a chance of prolonged mental anguish. Sunny days not expected in the foreseeable future, hailstorms and thunder likely. Cloudy skies definite.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland last month:
- "I think for this one, we need to doggy-style it la, bang bang"
- "We shall optimise our resources and ride this out"
Banker Wanker : "Niamah"
- "Fark, Lanciao (CEO) is a farker la. Smart and rich but with an EQ of an ant. Sorry, ants have higher EQ. Ok, ant poop"
Banker Wanker : "Muahahaha"
+++
My prophecies for next year:
- The economy will continue to be bearish though the job market in the financial sector would likely be fairly robust. There will be more attrition from Bankerland and there will be senior management movements, which will lead to even more attrition. Bankerland will continue to lose market share.
- Somebody is going to sleep with somebody in the office. It won't be Banker Wanker cause he never have such luck.(*throws away stupid 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
- A hot girl will join Bankerland, specifically, in Banker Wanker's department (oh God, let it be. *Rummages through bin for discarded 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
+++
What does it say when I don't look forward to weekends anymore?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Capon
Yesterday, Capon(the boss, means a castrated cock) ambles over and started making some general comments on the status of a deal that I have been running solo since day 1 without much support. Trying to choke back my vomit consisting of a nice wantan mee and siew yoke lunch, the spiel reeks of "Oh, I better talk to my team heads once in a while to show that I STILL CARE and that I am on top of things". Jeez, great leadership skills Capon.*clap clap*
+++
I blame all these bitterness on the year-end-contemplative-lets reflect on my achievement mood. And this is further exacerbated by some changes in the Soulmate front. Basically, I see no reason to stay in Bankerland anymore, except for financial reasons.....but really, can one truly live for that reason alone? Of course the guilty, responsible part of me says that the financial aspect is important to the Hive and it pays for Bumblebee's milk powder, but I suppose some sacrifices and financial discipline might do the trick?
Fark, in my 30s and I am still in denial.
+++
I wonder if I were to drink enough umesyu, would my fart smell like plums?
I hate farewells.
+++
What happens when there's no more rhyme
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ylfu_debbie-gibson-no-more-rhyme_music
+++
I blame all these bitterness on the year-end-contemplative-lets reflect on my achievement mood. And this is further exacerbated by some changes in the Soulmate front. Basically, I see no reason to stay in Bankerland anymore, except for financial reasons.....but really, can one truly live for that reason alone? Of course the guilty, responsible part of me says that the financial aspect is important to the Hive and it pays for Bumblebee's milk powder, but I suppose some sacrifices and financial discipline might do the trick?
Fark, in my 30s and I am still in denial.
+++
I wonder if I were to drink enough umesyu, would my fart smell like plums?
I hate farewells.
+++
What happens when there's no more rhyme
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ylfu_debbie-gibson-no-more-rhyme_music
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
65% for 100%
From sleep deprived state of mind and after effects of 3 glasses of Umesyu and a glass of wine last night, during Bumblebee's 4a.m feed:
Hi, I am Banker Wanker, and I am an investment banker who specializes in giving you 65% of my effort while making you feel like you are getting 100%. Tomorrow, you will wake up feeling like a million buckeroos not knowing I have short changed you. Thank you for banking at Bankerland, the only bank that CAN and WILL satisfy you. *porcelain smile, flashing perfect white teeth*
Yesterday, Sidekick and I traded goss. It was overwhelming to the extent we had to load up on Japo food and umesyu (the ones that sat with me during my 4a.m milk run) after work, to sort of suss out what we knew. My conclusion is; Irregardless of what dark secrets you have lurking in the closet, you are still you and your real friends will always be there for you.
+++
So, truly, is it wrong to give 65% knowing that it is a 100% for the other person? Would it be considered cheating? (in the case of a relationship where one partner gives 65% effort into the relationship, and that 65% is good enough for the other partner). Can one be entirely happy giving 65% and leaving the rest of the 35% to someone else perhaps?
Damn, since when relationships were measured in percentages?
I am so screwed and it isn't even the pleasurable kind.
+++
An original piece by Banker Wanker:
She whispers her promises gently into my ears, words painted in hues of spring, but like spring, that bring promises of life and hope, summer like a distant echo looms beyond the hills, autumn lies in turn on the horizon, and therein lies sadness, embedded in winter’s cold silence.
Painted in hues of spring, promises of life and hope, she glides along caressing weary souls, gently whispering that all which troubles, is but for a moment, and that only is important, which is eternal.
Hi, I am Banker Wanker, and I am an investment banker who specializes in giving you 65% of my effort while making you feel like you are getting 100%. Tomorrow, you will wake up feeling like a million buckeroos not knowing I have short changed you. Thank you for banking at Bankerland, the only bank that CAN and WILL satisfy you. *porcelain smile, flashing perfect white teeth*
Yesterday, Sidekick and I traded goss. It was overwhelming to the extent we had to load up on Japo food and umesyu (the ones that sat with me during my 4a.m milk run) after work, to sort of suss out what we knew. My conclusion is; Irregardless of what dark secrets you have lurking in the closet, you are still you and your real friends will always be there for you.
+++
So, truly, is it wrong to give 65% knowing that it is a 100% for the other person? Would it be considered cheating? (in the case of a relationship where one partner gives 65% effort into the relationship, and that 65% is good enough for the other partner). Can one be entirely happy giving 65% and leaving the rest of the 35% to someone else perhaps?
Damn, since when relationships were measured in percentages?
I am so screwed and it isn't even the pleasurable kind.
+++
An original piece by Banker Wanker:
She whispers her promises gently into my ears, words painted in hues of spring, but like spring, that bring promises of life and hope, summer like a distant echo looms beyond the hills, autumn lies in turn on the horizon, and therein lies sadness, embedded in winter’s cold silence.
Painted in hues of spring, promises of life and hope, she glides along caressing weary souls, gently whispering that all which troubles, is but for a moment, and that only is important, which is eternal.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A Collage Of Memories
Its the final month of the year, how time flies.
--Just last night, I was Bumblebee's pillow...
--Last week, I told Sidekick the story, untold for 3 years...
--Last month, the team and I closed one of the largest issuance of the year and it didn't feel special anymore...
--Last year, I was running solo on a transaction that wasn't mine...
--Two years back, Grumps and I were in our seasonal melancholy mood...
--Three years back, unknowingly and unexpectedly, Soulmate appeared and never left...
"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity"...I tried at times, "stabbing" aimlessly at a moment that left me suspended and vulnerable only to realise I was in fact "stabbing" a part of me. And that is where I am now, stuck in a moment i can't get out (cue U2's song).
"Sekecil burung ke titi, adinda terbang ke hati kekanda, mengharapkan cinta yang mengunung"
"Walau patah sayap rajawali , bertongkat jua hamba kemari"
--Just last night, I was Bumblebee's pillow...
--Last week, I told Sidekick the story, untold for 3 years...
--Last month, the team and I closed one of the largest issuance of the year and it didn't feel special anymore...
--Last year, I was running solo on a transaction that wasn't mine...
--Two years back, Grumps and I were in our seasonal melancholy mood...
--Three years back, unknowingly and unexpectedly, Soulmate appeared and never left...
"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity"...I tried at times, "stabbing" aimlessly at a moment that left me suspended and vulnerable only to realise I was in fact "stabbing" a part of me. And that is where I am now, stuck in a moment i can't get out (cue U2's song).
"Sekecil burung ke titi, adinda terbang ke hati kekanda, mengharapkan cinta yang mengunung"
"Walau patah sayap rajawali , bertongkat jua hamba kemari"
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