Its November already, bejesus, it has been such a hectic year. November 11 marks a year since Sidekick left Bankerland for greener pastures. Although from her occasional ranting, it might have been some green and a lot of brown and blue.:) Hang in there Sidekick, April is just around the corner…*hot hatch, hot hatch, hot hatch*
+++
I often get fairly consistent and oh-so-predictable remarks or comments when I tell people what I do for a living. A typical conversation would go something like this:
Homo Sapien: “So, what do you do for a living Banker Wanker?”
Banker Wanker: “I am in the banking line”
Home Sapien: “Oh, what sort of banking are you in?”
Banker Wanker: *here we go again* “I am in the investment banking line”
Homo Sapien: [cue in Top 5 most common remarks/comments]
No.5 : “Ohh, are you with CIMB ah?” *Banker Wanker’s convoluted mind can’t decipher if that is an insult or compliment…eyes Homo Sapien suspiciously, thumb drive with pointy end ready to gorge Homo Sapien’s eyes out*
No.4 : “Ohh, what sort of investment do you invest in?” *Banker Wanker’s eyes glazes over, fantasizing about making a quick getaway by pretending to choke on the dainty hors d’oeuvre*
No.3 : “Ohh, eh, can I send my CV to you ah?” *Banker Wanker gives polite sure-thang-bro/sis nod*
No.2 : “Ohh, the ones that caused the sub-prime crisis laaaa…” *Homo Sapien laughs after comment, then stops laughing upon noticing that Banker Wanker is not politely laughing along*
No.1 : “Ahhh, you guys are the ones with high bonuses and nice cars laaaa…” *Home Sapien not so discreetly eyeing what watch Banker Wanker is wearing, then realizes its a Guess watch…Homo Sapien’s confused look, priceless*
+++
Mista John Mayer, you did it again, this is brilliant.
Half of my heart
I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand, all that your love can bring
Oh half of my heart has a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that
I can't keep loving you(can't keep loving you)
Oh with half of my heart
I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else
Made a plan stay the man who could only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, till the day you came
Showing my another way, and all that my love can bring
Oh half of my hearts got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that
I can't keep loving you(can't keep loving you)
Oh with half of my heart, with half of my heart
Your faith is strong, but I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you
Then half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you(I can't stop loving you)
I can't stop loving you(I can't stop loving you)
I can't stop loving you, with half of my heart
Oh half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart has a real good imagination
Half of my hearts got you
Half of my hearts got a right mind to tell you that
Half of my heart won't do
Half of my heart in a shotgun wedding
To a bride with a paper ring
But half of my heart is the part of a man
Whose never truly loved anything
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Malaysia got talent....meh?
Mantra of the week:
*I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch*
+++
I have been house shopping again and house prices in the Klang Valley have really skyrocketed. And really, it is not just centered in the hotspots like Bangsar, Damansara and Hartamas where fundamentals and asset quality are largely intact, but in far flung places where you would never have considered in the past. Having said that, I am taking a contrarian stance to what the naysayers are saying, which is that a bubble is forming in the real estate market. After a 2 year lull since the crises, hoarders are now beginning to splash some cash and property asset seems to be benefitting from it. Look at the profiles of buyers and you would realize there is some serious liquidity sloshing around. And for a lot of these buyers, they are likely to have enough safety net to withstand a fall in valuation should any bubble burst. My mantra for now; if you are looking for a house to stay, and you have found a property that you like…get it quick, the market is just going to get hotter and good property at good locations these days are a dime in a dozen.
+++
The GOM is setting up a body to attract talent back onshore to reverse the brain drain problem that has plague the country for the longest time. WT-blooming-F.
Kudos for recognizing (albeit a tad too slow) that a good talent base is the foundations for a thriving, dynamic and high value chain economy. *clap clap*. But please, tolong la, do you really think setting up a taskforce is good enough? Talent will come back if; there is a story to our economy (Legoland and middle eastern investors don’t count), there is a level playing field regardless of background (ohhh, dirty word…meritocracy), the education system is not in its current shambolic state (oh for goodness sake, stop flipflopping on policies, every flipflop affects one future generation). These are only the tip of the iceberg, get real dear YBs.
Lastly, to finish off my rant, that smart legal graduate who recently got a slew of awards and distinctions from Cambridge and would be working in Singapore’s Legal Service…he is a product of Singapore’s education system. He is Malaysian by birth…but hell, he is a product of Singapore….I was cringing when I saw how the local newspapers were harping on the fact that he was a Malaysian rah-rah-rah..chest thumping articles. It is embarrassing. The fact that he wasn’t invited to have luncheon with PM and wife (historically, champion Malaysians will always makan rendang and nasi lemak with PM and wife mahh) shows that the powers to be knows that we can’t really claim fame for it.
I still love this country, but its like dating an average looking but supremely horny yet bitchy person…sometimes its hot, sometimes its cold.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
Ditzy Chihuahua : *boing boing boing* “Hihi Banker Wanker” *chirpy sugary voice*
Banker Wanker : *slowly lifts head up* “Hi, what’s up?”
Ditzy Chihuahua : “Nothing much, the usual la, I am soooo tired, soooo much stuff to think about…you know”
Banker Wanker : “Yeah, it’s a bummer, our line requires so much thinking, it must hurt sometimes….”
Ditzy Chihuahua : *tilts head to left, quizzical look* “Uhuh….ogay, got to go now, see ya soon” *boing boing boing”
Eye candy yes, porch light on? No…
*I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch*
+++
I have been house shopping again and house prices in the Klang Valley have really skyrocketed. And really, it is not just centered in the hotspots like Bangsar, Damansara and Hartamas where fundamentals and asset quality are largely intact, but in far flung places where you would never have considered in the past. Having said that, I am taking a contrarian stance to what the naysayers are saying, which is that a bubble is forming in the real estate market. After a 2 year lull since the crises, hoarders are now beginning to splash some cash and property asset seems to be benefitting from it. Look at the profiles of buyers and you would realize there is some serious liquidity sloshing around. And for a lot of these buyers, they are likely to have enough safety net to withstand a fall in valuation should any bubble burst. My mantra for now; if you are looking for a house to stay, and you have found a property that you like…get it quick, the market is just going to get hotter and good property at good locations these days are a dime in a dozen.
+++
The GOM is setting up a body to attract talent back onshore to reverse the brain drain problem that has plague the country for the longest time. WT-blooming-F.
Kudos for recognizing (albeit a tad too slow) that a good talent base is the foundations for a thriving, dynamic and high value chain economy. *clap clap*. But please, tolong la, do you really think setting up a taskforce is good enough? Talent will come back if; there is a story to our economy (Legoland and middle eastern investors don’t count), there is a level playing field regardless of background (ohhh, dirty word…meritocracy), the education system is not in its current shambolic state (oh for goodness sake, stop flipflopping on policies, every flipflop affects one future generation). These are only the tip of the iceberg, get real dear YBs.
Lastly, to finish off my rant, that smart legal graduate who recently got a slew of awards and distinctions from Cambridge and would be working in Singapore’s Legal Service…he is a product of Singapore’s education system. He is Malaysian by birth…but hell, he is a product of Singapore….I was cringing when I saw how the local newspapers were harping on the fact that he was a Malaysian rah-rah-rah..chest thumping articles. It is embarrassing. The fact that he wasn’t invited to have luncheon with PM and wife (historically, champion Malaysians will always makan rendang and nasi lemak with PM and wife mahh) shows that the powers to be knows that we can’t really claim fame for it.
I still love this country, but its like dating an average looking but supremely horny yet bitchy person…sometimes its hot, sometimes its cold.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
Ditzy Chihuahua : *boing boing boing* “Hihi Banker Wanker” *chirpy sugary voice*
Banker Wanker : *slowly lifts head up* “Hi, what’s up?”
Ditzy Chihuahua : “Nothing much, the usual la, I am soooo tired, soooo much stuff to think about…you know”
Banker Wanker : “Yeah, it’s a bummer, our line requires so much thinking, it must hurt sometimes….”
Ditzy Chihuahua : *tilts head to left, quizzical look* “Uhuh….ogay, got to go now, see ya soon” *boing boing boing”
Eye candy yes, porch light on? No…
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Mojo
I have been reflecting alot about the past year and the many highs and lows that have peppered my work and personal life, and its about 50:50 for now. I am cruising along in my relatively new Japo ride, wearing some new clothes and a new tie that Moonlight bought for me, a healthy bank account and work is puttering along...so, it hasn't been too bad yeah. Sure, there was (and is a continuing situation) the fall out with the Queen, but that's not something fixable immediately..and maybe never. Bumblebee is the overriding factor now...and I suppose is the thin thread that binds me from falling into divorce-doom. Perhaps I need to recognize that my current state is going to be as good as it gets...and if that's truly so, then hell yeah, I am going to try to enjoy it while the good mojo last, cause the next fall could really be the one that breaks the camel's back. Short term gratification is truly my forte now...short term goals for now, don't ask me about life long purpose please...
+++
Moonlight, you are brilliant, thank you for being there when I needed you most. I miss ya....
Sidekick, where art thou....I hope you are well, see you soon...
Soulmate, the longing never ceases...far from sight, far from heart, I hope that works...
+++
Life in Bankerland is like a bad case of constipation with lego blocks up the chute at times...painful.
+++
Prices of landed properties in the Klang Valley has officially gone berserk. RM1.6 million...pah, easy peasy...*stocks up on maggi mee* *trains body to photosynthesize air*
+++
Moonlight, you are brilliant, thank you for being there when I needed you most. I miss ya....
Sidekick, where art thou....I hope you are well, see you soon...
Soulmate, the longing never ceases...far from sight, far from heart, I hope that works...
+++
Life in Bankerland is like a bad case of constipation with lego blocks up the chute at times...painful.
+++
Prices of landed properties in the Klang Valley has officially gone berserk. RM1.6 million...pah, easy peasy...*stocks up on maggi mee* *trains body to photosynthesize air*
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Mesti ada gaya....
People, when you have spawns of your own, make sure they never choose to make investment banking as a vocation. Steer them (ahem*force them*ahem) towards any other vocations, except a life as an investment banker. There is no value add to this world in pursuing this line of work, there is nothing it can offer that the world can’t do without…yeah, sure it pays the bills, sure, some people in the industry might look up to you as a BSD; but in comparison to a doctor, an engineer, an artisan…an i.banker is such a hollow profession. Maybe I am feverish with a case of career-romanticism, fantasizing about how my work can be noble, rewarding and profoundly important to society and the world at large. But who am I kidding….its the monkey suit, disposal shaving kits and blackberry for now, selling “innovation” like the world’s existence depended on it…what a load of bullcrap.
+++
I am posting this on my new swanky netbook with my new plug and play broadband. But I can’t promise if I can post more moving forth :(. This new role in Bankerland is sucking the life out of me…and its not even good sucking. *ahem*
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
Capon : “Let me introduce you to Banker Wanker, he is our guy on the regional side of business”
Banker Wanker : *fui yoh* *stoned face* *thinking regional tag is becoming this gigantic fluff ball that I have no control over* *shakes hand, smiles* *trying to recall LIBOR closing rates* *thinking curry stain on shirt not very there* *thinking I need to develop Engrish accent like those cina cikus in foreign banks*...”No laaaa, just chopping the lalang for now only wannn”
Confirm, fail.
+++
Milla Jovovich can throw shirukens at me anytime. Ali Carter too, but after Milla kay.
+++
I am posting this on my new swanky netbook with my new plug and play broadband. But I can’t promise if I can post more moving forth :(. This new role in Bankerland is sucking the life out of me…and its not even good sucking. *ahem*
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
Capon : “Let me introduce you to Banker Wanker, he is our guy on the regional side of business”
Banker Wanker : *fui yoh* *stoned face* *thinking regional tag is becoming this gigantic fluff ball that I have no control over* *shakes hand, smiles* *trying to recall LIBOR closing rates* *thinking curry stain on shirt not very there* *thinking I need to develop Engrish accent like those cina cikus in foreign banks*...”No laaaa, just chopping the lalang for now only wannn”
Confirm, fail.
+++
Milla Jovovich can throw shirukens at me anytime. Ali Carter too, but after Milla kay.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Of lalangs and chrysanthemum drink
Banker Wanker’s weekly ABCs:
A – Asshole spotted at the water cooler, pretending to be in deep thought for the longest time (with eyebrows all scrunched up), where in fact he was actually standing around to eavesdrop on a conversation close by.
B – Babe’s spotted in Bankerland….must be recruitment season again….
C – Carried Bumblebee, sprained my back. The boy is getting real heavy....someone said he looked like Winnie the Pooh -_-
D – Didn’t even notice that I have not been on a proper holiday for almost a year and a half
E – Emotionally drained
+++
I have a crush on this billboard face for McD’s value meal advertisements plastered all over the LRT pillars along Jalan Sultan Ismail. Her face is on the fifth pillar from the traffic lights at the Wisma Genting intersection (pillars on the right if you are coming from Bukit Bintang, count backwards from traffic lights). I am such a sucker for a pretty face….
+++
The long weekend was spent entertaining Bumblebee and cleaning after his poop. Lovely.
+++
When I was small, I used to follow my dad’s side of the family to their yearly visit to the ancestral’s grave somewhere in Selangor. Its more like an expedition really as the entourage has to brave through a hour’s walk consisting of 2 feet water and 1.5 meter high lalang before reaching the site (Think Viet war movies where the soldiers have to wad through slosh and lalang with guns raised up above head type of march). The leading guy would have to slash through the lalang, slowly making a path as we worm towards the site. You can imagine how fun this was for a 12 year old kid, especially so when I had my own mini parang to help out. I can still remember how the grass smells, how the brilliant green was illuminated by the scorching sun with brilliant blue skies overhead, the ‘nyek nyek’ sound of cheap rubber floppies sloshing through water and the refreshing feel of cool chrysanthemum drink (Yeo’s brand of course) after the day’s work.
I feel like I have to go through so much ‘lalang’ in my life right now and all I have is a butter knife to slash through them. Thoroughly demoralizing and absolutely pointless…..not even sure if there is going to be cool chrysanthemum drink at the end of it all...
A – Asshole spotted at the water cooler, pretending to be in deep thought for the longest time (with eyebrows all scrunched up), where in fact he was actually standing around to eavesdrop on a conversation close by.
B – Babe’s spotted in Bankerland….must be recruitment season again….
C – Carried Bumblebee, sprained my back. The boy is getting real heavy....someone said he looked like Winnie the Pooh -_-
D – Didn’t even notice that I have not been on a proper holiday for almost a year and a half
E – Emotionally drained
+++
I have a crush on this billboard face for McD’s value meal advertisements plastered all over the LRT pillars along Jalan Sultan Ismail. Her face is on the fifth pillar from the traffic lights at the Wisma Genting intersection (pillars on the right if you are coming from Bukit Bintang, count backwards from traffic lights). I am such a sucker for a pretty face….
+++
The long weekend was spent entertaining Bumblebee and cleaning after his poop. Lovely.
+++
When I was small, I used to follow my dad’s side of the family to their yearly visit to the ancestral’s grave somewhere in Selangor. Its more like an expedition really as the entourage has to brave through a hour’s walk consisting of 2 feet water and 1.5 meter high lalang before reaching the site (Think Viet war movies where the soldiers have to wad through slosh and lalang with guns raised up above head type of march). The leading guy would have to slash through the lalang, slowly making a path as we worm towards the site. You can imagine how fun this was for a 12 year old kid, especially so when I had my own mini parang to help out. I can still remember how the grass smells, how the brilliant green was illuminated by the scorching sun with brilliant blue skies overhead, the ‘nyek nyek’ sound of cheap rubber floppies sloshing through water and the refreshing feel of cool chrysanthemum drink (Yeo’s brand of course) after the day’s work.
I feel like I have to go through so much ‘lalang’ in my life right now and all I have is a butter knife to slash through them. Thoroughly demoralizing and absolutely pointless…..not even sure if there is going to be cool chrysanthemum drink at the end of it all...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
What then....
Overheard in Bankerland:
Isabella: “Did you cut and paste this entire paper? You didn’t even bother to make it your own?”
Small Dick: “Err…well, yes, I cut and pasted some. But not all….”
Isabella: “You sure not all? Lets take a sampling….here, word for word from the rating report”
Small Dick: “Err…..well, yes…blah blah blah (avalanche of excuses and beating around the bush)”
This seemingly innocent episode precipitated 2 days of coaching and mentoring and closed door mid year reviews that ended in much denial and amazing show of ego from Small Dick. It is about time he is shipped out….
Banker Wanker: “They are insinuating that I tell Capon about the things that go on in the department?”
Isabella: “Yeah, seems so. And that you have certain influence in some of the decisions made on certain individuals etc”
Banker Wanker: “I am real disappointed. I can’t tell if they are genuine now or are they just putting up a front to manage me…..”
Isabella: “I think they genuinely like and respect you, but perhaps with a tinge of wariness”
Banker Wanker: “That is really disappointing…the perception couldn’t be further than the truth”
Stay low, go slow, don’t blow.
+++
Buzzword in Bankerland : Regionalization
*Banker Wanker trying not to laugh out loud, keeping it all in…bbhrrrrppttttt*
+++
Omigosh, Sarah’s new album is amazing…..it dost talk to me so. I have been thinking so much about how I am leading my life now, the relationships that I am in, the numbing pain that throbs just below the surface and where I want to be in 10 years time. I am just living for the moment, trying not to look too far beyond today and tomorrow for fear that it is as good as it gets. On the bad nights, Sarah plays in my head, and the notion of leaving this life right now seems to be almost appealing...I could be ready to go you know...I could be.....
Awakenings by Sarah McLachlan
When we first met the well was dry
A long dark winter passed us by
With shooting stars and hopeful hearts our worlds collide
And so we rushed to fill each other in
Quick to feed our hungry hopes
A feast of our affections we were born anew
With open eyes we tried to make it work
And for a while the magic took
But cracks began to show as soon as things got hard
Like paper walls our feelings tore
We threw our backs against the door
Unwilling to bear witness to the other side
Oh, the games we play to hide the tangled dread inside
The fear that we are going nowhere fast
So we point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?
I took a good hard look at how I loved
Years I squandered falling fast
For any boy who'd have me was so insecure
I'd lie awake alone at night
Full of loathing, compromised
And wondering how the hell did I end up like this
Oh, the tears of rage I cried, when nowhere could I find
An answer that made any kind of sense to me
I point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?
Oh I wanna learn, I wanna know
Will our history crush us or can we let it go?
I'm not the girl I was but what have I become?
I'm not so willing anymore to bend
Still pleasing and conceding
But I'm not gonna lose myself again
Isabella: “Did you cut and paste this entire paper? You didn’t even bother to make it your own?”
Small Dick: “Err…well, yes, I cut and pasted some. But not all….”
Isabella: “You sure not all? Lets take a sampling….here, word for word from the rating report”
Small Dick: “Err…..well, yes…blah blah blah (avalanche of excuses and beating around the bush)”
This seemingly innocent episode precipitated 2 days of coaching and mentoring and closed door mid year reviews that ended in much denial and amazing show of ego from Small Dick. It is about time he is shipped out….
Banker Wanker: “They are insinuating that I tell Capon about the things that go on in the department?”
Isabella: “Yeah, seems so. And that you have certain influence in some of the decisions made on certain individuals etc”
Banker Wanker: “I am real disappointed. I can’t tell if they are genuine now or are they just putting up a front to manage me…..”
Isabella: “I think they genuinely like and respect you, but perhaps with a tinge of wariness”
Banker Wanker: “That is really disappointing…the perception couldn’t be further than the truth”
Stay low, go slow, don’t blow.
+++
Buzzword in Bankerland : Regionalization
*Banker Wanker trying not to laugh out loud, keeping it all in…bbhrrrrppttttt*
+++
Omigosh, Sarah’s new album is amazing…..it dost talk to me so. I have been thinking so much about how I am leading my life now, the relationships that I am in, the numbing pain that throbs just below the surface and where I want to be in 10 years time. I am just living for the moment, trying not to look too far beyond today and tomorrow for fear that it is as good as it gets. On the bad nights, Sarah plays in my head, and the notion of leaving this life right now seems to be almost appealing...I could be ready to go you know...I could be.....
Awakenings by Sarah McLachlan
When we first met the well was dry
A long dark winter passed us by
With shooting stars and hopeful hearts our worlds collide
And so we rushed to fill each other in
Quick to feed our hungry hopes
A feast of our affections we were born anew
With open eyes we tried to make it work
And for a while the magic took
But cracks began to show as soon as things got hard
Like paper walls our feelings tore
We threw our backs against the door
Unwilling to bear witness to the other side
Oh, the games we play to hide the tangled dread inside
The fear that we are going nowhere fast
So we point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?
I took a good hard look at how I loved
Years I squandered falling fast
For any boy who'd have me was so insecure
I'd lie awake alone at night
Full of loathing, compromised
And wondering how the hell did I end up like this
Oh, the tears of rage I cried, when nowhere could I find
An answer that made any kind of sense to me
I point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?
Oh I wanna learn, I wanna know
Will our history crush us or can we let it go?
I'm not the girl I was but what have I become?
I'm not so willing anymore to bend
Still pleasing and conceding
But I'm not gonna lose myself again
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Opening time
I was in one of the many suburban malls in the Klang Valley on Saturday morning looking for my morning cuppa while I wait for my Japanese tin-can to be serviced. It was way before opening time for most of the shops, so I had to traverse the length of the mall back and forth to find a cosy corner. As I dragged my caffeine deprived legs, I couldn’t help but notice how strangely calming the sight and sounds of shop owners and workers preparing their shop and wares for the day’s opening were. The sound of shutters opening, vacuums, radios’ playing in the background, table and chairs being dragged into position; they all added to an interesting and almost hypnotic cacophony of sounds. For the briefest moment, the scene unfolding right then reminded me of what it felt like to be starting afresh, where the ‘shutters’ were closed the night before and much hope and expectations are placed in a new place or phase in life as one diligently places all their ‘wares’, offering everything they have in hope to find some measure of return, some happiness. Fleetingly, I felt hope again but I know for a fact too that there is no turning back for me now. Too little too late, c'est la vie. I finally found my cosy corner after much meandering, sat down with my cuppa and watched through the window as life passes by....
+++
Trending in Banker Wanker’s life at the moment:
1. Moonlight, its complicated
2. Bumblebee, on his walker terrorizing the furniture at home
3. Bankerland, slowwwww….wish things would move faster here
4. Alcohol…to numb the ache
5. Sex…the lack of it
6. Pork…poor substitute for 5
7. Sleep…to forget about 1,3 and 5
+++
Trending in Banker Wanker’s life at the moment:
1. Moonlight, its complicated
2. Bumblebee, on his walker terrorizing the furniture at home
3. Bankerland, slowwwww….wish things would move faster here
4. Alcohol…to numb the ache
5. Sex…the lack of it
6. Pork…poor substitute for 5
7. Sleep…to forget about 1,3 and 5
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