Thursday, April 14, 2011

Running Away

I used to run a fair bit, until my knees and lack of discipline gave way.I ran (attempted) recently and almost killed myself at the park, swear to God the monkeys were looking at me funny as I was trying to catch my breath after a measly 15 minute jog, huffing and puffing like a dog in heat. Needless to say the knees were hurting a fair bit, crap, I felt really old then. As I sat on the ground, soaking up the morning air, kneading my knees absent mindedly, I watched my surroundings and I still could recognise some of the regulars. Some young, some middle aged, some not so young; all looking fit and largely unaffected (like a still picture) despite my prolonged absence. The regular exercise must be doing them some good. Some are still jogging furiously as ever, looking intent in trying to finish up their weekly quota of miles. I admire their perseverance grudgingly, wondering if health was the only reason that drove them. As cliche as it sounds, running is not merely physical but very much mental as well. And perhaps this is the explanation for the contrast between my tubby physic and the regulars here with their toned and taut physic. Other than pure will power, they seem to have purpose, a destinaton, a goal that they intent to meet. They are running with the future in mind, and what lies ahead. I, on the other hand, am running from the past, not caring what lies ahead for fear of meeting demons that have appeared in the past.

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Its official, my networth is a million as of this month thanks to a couple of property investments. Ask me 10 years back and I would have been jumping with joy and ticking off one more milestone in the to-do list. But its inherently meaningless to me now and a million nowadays doesn't get you very far anyway.

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Daphne Iking (Dahlia now) in FHM...I was so smitten by her years back.

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Sorry for not writing for so long, I have been travelling a fair bit and trying to get the regional deals going. I hope everyone is fine and dandy.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

And you wonder why I am like this....

Got off the flight at 7.30 p.m, was at the ultra exclusive hotel by 9 p.m after battling traffic in this archipelago. Quick shower, quick bite and was burning some cash on the roulette and baccarat table in no time. Got into bed by 1a.m, set the alarm for 7a.m to prepare for a 9.30 am meeting. Fast forward, 9.30 a.m meeting done, quick bite with the local boss, hit the road quickly thereafter, heading towards final meeting on the other side of the city. Punched in quick emails on the BB feeling slightly dizzy from drive. A quick touch base session with the CFO, threw some ideas, he liked it, promises for a formal proposal made. Just in time for the return flight though marginally worried that local traffic might be a pain. Punched more emails on the way to the airport. Check-in and everything was a blur after that. Touch down, local time, slightly over 12 midnight. Got into bed after 1, alarm set at 6 a.m. Fun right?

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Sick of:

- Office politics and staff not pulling their weight
- Gossip mongers who can’t get their facts right
- Justin Bieber (sorry Bieber fans, but jelak la seeing him
everywhere. And sorry kay, they did choose the right artist for the
award he didn’t win.)
- Feeling like I am 50
- Having to swallow pills every morning
- Not being able to pull away from the white scirroco on some
mornings (Dammit, I so want one now, give me mine in black please)

I wish for:

- The black scirroco
- Loads of sleep
- My work BB to die and never get resurrected
- My peers to pull their weight
- Better staff
- Better bosses (Fantasy hor)
- Abs with definition (A bigger fantasy hor)

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Overheard in Banker Wanker’s universe:

Banker Wanker: “So, anyway, I truly believe you would know for certain who your soulmate is, eventhough more often than not, its ironically always at the wrong time and place. And sometimes, you would meet that special someone who will open that hidden place in your heart that you never knew existed, and show you what it means to be totally in love with someone genuinely, to totally connect..”

Soulmate: “Wow…have you met that special someone?”

Banker Wanker: “Yeah….but wrong time and place. You may meet that someone,but you can’t do anything about it….obviously if I had the chance to turn back the clock, I would have done some things differently. Sigh….would you have done it differently if you were given the chance to turn back the clock? Who would you have chosen from your ex-s or would you still choose to stay with Mr X? Someone you really connected with...."

Soulmate: *pauses for a moment* “If it were possible….I would have chosed you”

The irony of it all huh….*rams rusty fork into chest*

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sapu Semua

Omigosh,I am getting closer to uncle-hood,I have a confession to make. Am staying in a swanky hotel for the past week and all I can think of after a full day of mumbo jumbo and networking is how many Loccitane shower gel and soap bars I am going to accumulate before I check out so that I can show the Queen and Bumblebee my impressive stash of premium soap. 5 tubes of shower gel and 5 pieces of soap bars...champion...hmmm...should I start a body lotion collection too?.....hmmmm...oooo *distracted* shoe cream....

My excuse; I am compelled to act beyond my norm as it is the Queen's request to bring back a stash. The Penang-ite in her is quite apparent when it comes to hotel shower gel, and I blame it on the Queen’s mum, who I understand is also an afficionado of hotel room consumables. While I have this fear of having to open my bag at immigration come one fine day, with dozens of mini bottles and soap bars tumbling out, being stared at by a group of stewardess standing behind me; I have turned this hoarding into a mini challenge. My best haul for a 4 day stay was 7 shower gels, 5 shampoo gels and 8 large soap bars. Its embarassing la….

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Overheard in Bankerland

Shuttlecock: “Tell me, how do you do it, how do you network and market for transactions? You are doing well with some deals done regionally and I want to learn from you”
Banker Wanker: *almost chocked on sugary donut* “Err, I just do a lot of travelling….”
Shuttlecock: “We should form an alliance since I am in my new position now and my scope is complementary to your coverage and scope”
Banker Wanker: “But we may have to sleep together, err, I mean share the same room since Capon is quite particular about cost.”
Shuttlecock: *Gives coy 40 year old virgin maid smile*
Banker Wanker: *omfg…..stuffs remaining donut into big mouth as best as I could, hoping it doesn’t look suggestive in any manner, scampers out like a dingo in the water*

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Tong tong tong chiang…CNY around the corner. I need to shop for my yearly lucky boxers. Bagi ketat punya so that all the $$$ won’t fall out.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Thank you for the music...

“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” – Brooks Atkinson

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There are times when I would be floored by an insatiable need to hear music, and that’s when I will hit the stores (yes, old fashion me, but owning CDs is sort of a childhood promise I made to myself) to see if I can find any interesting releases. I am game for any genre and tend to go on gut-feel, some prior sampling and a good dose of open-mindedness; and more often than not, I would uncover some gems along the way. I was hankering for some new music last week, and decided to pop into a chain with Bumblebee. Playing overhead was a song with a pretty catchy beat and it was then I caught Bumblebee moving both his hands in the air to the beat of the song, like some feng-tou dance, baby style. It was brilliant. The boy has some music in him afterall (the moves will come later, once I am done teaching him how to dance the imaginary-knife-cutting-the-air dance ). And like my late dad who used to imbue me with music i.e classical guitar classes, music books and concerts, I hope my love for music would rub of on Bumblebee as well. I have been thinking a lot about how my late dad has influenced me as a kid (the good bits), despite the short period of time spent together and tragic circumstances on the family and career front. And as flawed as I am, I do hope that Bumblebee will have some good bits to see him through life too....dance on Bumblebee…

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Skyline
Ok ok only, tried to be different but was lukewarm at best. Awesome scene involving US Airforce (but of course, it can only be the great You-Ass-Aye) jets dogfighting with alient crafts.

Narnia
Blibical references aplenty, good special effects…but a tad too sterilized for my liking.

Tron
3D effects, great. Storyline, like yesterday’s tea. Chick from House, in Tron glowy suit, sizzling.

Harry Potter, 1st part of last installment
Read the book, decent adaptation. Still think its too dark for kids.

Omigosh, Captain America, Thor and Green Lantern this year. Can’t wait to watch them alone

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Changes in Bankerland

- New bosses everywhere, with Capon being the only constant
- Capon acting like a retired general….(ohh, wait a minute, that hasn’t changed from the past..ooppps)
- Small Dick has left the building for good…I feel sad for him that it didn’t work out here, but good riddance to someone who consciously decided that he would be a pain in the arse prior to his departure.
- New colleagues, among others, Selfish-Twig, Eager Beaver and Bree

I expect to see a lot more changes this year in Bankerland, and while some may not be desirable, it is still going to be exciting to see how the business will grow. Game face on, let’s go.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Back To December

1….big baby in the form of Bumblebee who turned one recently.
2….times this year that I heard the words “I love you” expressed to me.
3….properties thus far, to flog off two by next year.
4….deals closed this year, I kickass.
5….fingers on right hand were very active this year…sex, what’s that again?

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So there I was, nursing a sprained back and a double shot latte at hand, sitting down on one of the shopping mall benches (rare find during holiday season) watching Bumblebee terrorize the kids who were crowding around a giant Christmas tree. He looked like he had his double shot latte already, hardly wincing after repeated falls (still losing his balance when he gets too excited) and hitting his head on what must be a giant reindeer from his tiny perspective. I looked quizzingly at my 2nd cup of caffeine which was doing jackshit to my system, wondering like an old man if the barrista has decided to play coffee-grinch by substituting my drink with decaf. Oh boy, old, jaded and paranoid. I promised myself I won’t get into a melancholic mood this year end and start reflecting about what this year was about, it has never been easy for me, ever..and every year since turning 30 has decidedly been challenging as I grapple with a host of personal conflicts, failed relationships and the ever present “Its complicated” situations. Maybe it’s the way I like it….maybe for the lack of anything more engaging and purposeful, I have come to rely on these to remind myself that I am a being with feelings too, and because I feel, therefore I am alive….

Bumblebee has decided to hijack a red bauble from the tree and is heading towards the escalator in what must be a naïve hope to make a quick getaway..champion. I tore after him and felt a shot of pain from my back, hot latte scalding my hands….caught him, just…carried him with one hand while juggling my latte and felt another shot of pain. At this point, I have a smile etched on my face from Bumblebee’s antics and the pain…I am alive…

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I started this blog approximately one year back. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone, thanks for reading and checking-in, it has played a part in keeping me sane :)

Taylor Swift - Back To December

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to december all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to december, turn around and make it all right and
I go back to december all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to december all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to december, turn around and change my own mind and
I go back to december all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Half of my heart

Its November already, bejesus, it has been such a hectic year. November 11 marks a year since Sidekick left Bankerland for greener pastures. Although from her occasional ranting, it might have been some green and a lot of brown and blue.:) Hang in there Sidekick, April is just around the corner…*hot hatch, hot hatch, hot hatch*

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I often get fairly consistent and oh-so-predictable remarks or comments when I tell people what I do for a living. A typical conversation would go something like this:

Homo Sapien: “So, what do you do for a living Banker Wanker?”
Banker Wanker: “I am in the banking line”
Home Sapien: “Oh, what sort of banking are you in?”
Banker Wanker: *here we go again* “I am in the investment banking line”
Homo Sapien: [cue in Top 5 most common remarks/comments]

No.5 : “Ohh, are you with CIMB ah?” *Banker Wanker’s convoluted mind can’t decipher if that is an insult or compliment…eyes Homo Sapien suspiciously, thumb drive with pointy end ready to gorge Homo Sapien’s eyes out*

No.4 : “Ohh, what sort of investment do you invest in?” *Banker Wanker’s eyes glazes over, fantasizing about making a quick getaway by pretending to choke on the dainty hors d’oeuvre*

No.3 : “Ohh, eh, can I send my CV to you ah?” *Banker Wanker gives polite sure-thang-bro/sis nod*

No.2 : “Ohh, the ones that caused the sub-prime crisis laaaa…” *Homo Sapien laughs after comment, then stops laughing upon noticing that Banker Wanker is not politely laughing along*

No.1 : “Ahhh, you guys are the ones with high bonuses and nice cars laaaa…” *Home Sapien not so discreetly eyeing what watch Banker Wanker is wearing, then realizes its a Guess watch…Homo Sapien’s confused look, priceless*

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Mista John Mayer, you did it again, this is brilliant.

Half of my heart

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand, all that your love can bring

Oh half of my heart has a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that
I can't keep loving you(can't keep loving you)
Oh with half of my heart

I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else
Made a plan stay the man who could only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, till the day you came
Showing my another way, and all that my love can bring

Oh half of my hearts got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that
I can't keep loving you(can't keep loving you)
Oh with half of my heart, with half of my heart

Your faith is strong, but I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you
Then half of my heart

But I can't stop loving you(I can't stop loving you)
I can't stop loving you(I can't stop loving you)
I can't stop loving you, with half of my heart

Oh half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart has a real good imagination
Half of my hearts got you

Half of my hearts got a right mind to tell you that
Half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart in a shotgun wedding
To a bride with a paper ring

But half of my heart is the part of a man
Whose never truly loved anything

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Malaysia got talent....meh?

Mantra of the week:

*I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch, I will not buy the hot hatch*

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I have been house shopping again and house prices in the Klang Valley have really skyrocketed. And really, it is not just centered in the hotspots like Bangsar, Damansara and Hartamas where fundamentals and asset quality are largely intact, but in far flung places where you would never have considered in the past. Having said that, I am taking a contrarian stance to what the naysayers are saying, which is that a bubble is forming in the real estate market. After a 2 year lull since the crises, hoarders are now beginning to splash some cash and property asset seems to be benefitting from it. Look at the profiles of buyers and you would realize there is some serious liquidity sloshing around. And for a lot of these buyers, they are likely to have enough safety net to withstand a fall in valuation should any bubble burst. My mantra for now; if you are looking for a house to stay, and you have found a property that you like…get it quick, the market is just going to get hotter and good property at good locations these days are a dime in a dozen.

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The GOM is setting up a body to attract talent back onshore to reverse the brain drain problem that has plague the country for the longest time. WT-blooming-F.

Kudos for recognizing (albeit a tad too slow) that a good talent base is the foundations for a thriving, dynamic and high value chain economy. *clap clap*. But please, tolong la, do you really think setting up a taskforce is good enough? Talent will come back if; there is a story to our economy (Legoland and middle eastern investors don’t count), there is a level playing field regardless of background (ohhh, dirty word…meritocracy), the education system is not in its current shambolic state (oh for goodness sake, stop flipflopping on policies, every flipflop affects one future generation). These are only the tip of the iceberg, get real dear YBs.

Lastly, to finish off my rant, that smart legal graduate who recently got a slew of awards and distinctions from Cambridge and would be working in Singapore’s Legal Service…he is a product of Singapore’s education system. He is Malaysian by birth…but hell, he is a product of Singapore….I was cringing when I saw how the local newspapers were harping on the fact that he was a Malaysian rah-rah-rah..chest thumping articles. It is embarrassing. The fact that he wasn’t invited to have luncheon with PM and wife (historically, champion Malaysians will always makan rendang and nasi lemak with PM and wife mahh) shows that the powers to be knows that we can’t really claim fame for it.

I still love this country, but its like dating an average looking but supremely horny yet bitchy person…sometimes its hot, sometimes its cold.

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Overheard in Bankerland

Ditzy Chihuahua : *boing boing boing* “Hihi Banker Wanker” *chirpy sugary voice*
Banker Wanker : *slowly lifts head up* “Hi, what’s up?”
Ditzy Chihuahua : “Nothing much, the usual la, I am soooo tired, soooo much stuff to think about…you know”
Banker Wanker : “Yeah, it’s a bummer, our line requires so much thinking, it must hurt sometimes….”
Ditzy Chihuahua : *tilts head to left, quizzical look* “Uhuh….ogay, got to go now, see ya soon” *boing boing boing”

Eye candy yes, porch light on? No…