Defining moments….its one of those elusive and rare moments that happens in one’s life and is typically life altering. It will shape the path that we traverse on in an instant and it is typically an unexpected occurrence and may be dramatic at times. Often times, a defining moment can only be appreciated long after they happen; a chance encounter with a stranger leading to marriage and kids, a business decision that makes or breaks it, buying a lottery ticket over dinner from one of those walking vendors and winning the jackpot. Continuing from my contemplative mojo phase, the following is a list of defining moments over the years that have played a fundamental part in my formative years and what I am today:
Sampling of Banker Wanker's defining moments:
- My primary 3 teacher, recognizing that I should have been placed in the top class from the onset (instead of the last class), took the initiative to promote me to the top class in primary 4. I thrived in the new environment and academically, took on a different trajectory thereafter
- My parent's divorce
- My summer holidays spent in my mum's hometown with my late uncle
- Choice of first job which triggered a series of movement thereafter, leading me to Bankerland and coming full circle with my investment banker ambition (What now?)
- Meeting Sidekick and Soulmate
- Making my first quarter of a million
- Marriage
- Birth of Bumblebee
I am about to embark on a new path and I have the feeling that it might be a defining moment, for better or for worse.
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Watched 14 Blades as part of my CNY ritual (must catch canto movie during CNY). Disappointing movie, Donnie Yen could have done better. Also caught Storm Warriors 2 on DVD (original kay, RM12.90 at Speedy..bangga). It was marginally entertaining, although I felt Storm Warriors 1 was infinitely better despite the inferior special effects. Too much slow pan and slow mo poses by Mr. Noodle (Cheng E-Kin)in part 2 (Yes, we know you have nice Pantene standard long hair, get on with the fighting already).
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Intuition
Hope you had a good CNY break. Mine was spent visiting relatives, shopping and taking care of Bumblebee. He was a good kid these past 5 days and was charming as a button with his yelps, toothless grin and baby talk in the mornings. I had some time to get some exercise too and it was just brilliant jogging around the lake one evening in the pouring rain, umbrella at hand and Keane’s Everybody Is Changing playing. The simple things…..
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I have always considered myself to be a fairly intuitive person and on many occasions, more than I can recall, I have relied on my “gut feel” on some decisions that required me to go beyond conscious understanding and take a leap based on that feeling. This is also true in assessing and understanding people and personalities, both in my private and work life and if I were to put a percentage to it, I got to say that it has been a right decision or assessment 75% of the time. It is important for me to be able to read someone and try to gauge what makes that person tick. The underlying is probably driven by an innate need to be able to empathize and to customize decisions, responses, actions and words in response to the person's personality. I don't get it right all the time, but trying is important to me. Which is why I get really flustered when I am unable to read someone. Worst still if it is someone that I have been friends with for several years. This was the case over the CNY hols where I finally realized that I didn't know who Moonlight was despite our years of friendship. She is reclusive by nature and probably has enough skeletons in the closet to scare the living daylights out of me, but she is a lovely person and deserves the very best. But the lack of growth in our relationship and the fact that it is beginning to be a fairly one-sided affair (Banker Wanker gives, Moonlight takes) is really pushing me away. It takes two to tango and I feel like I am dancing alone to a tune that I don't even like. De-cluttering season again.
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Check out this new blog I stumbled on, it is by a cabbie in Las Vegas. Colourful encounters in the City of Lights.
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Its the 7th day of Chinese New Year tomorrow and its everyone's birthday! Happy birthday! What a pain trying to make a booking at restaurants, most places are fully booked out. Orang Cina really know how to makan la.
Have a good weekend!
+++
I have always considered myself to be a fairly intuitive person and on many occasions, more than I can recall, I have relied on my “gut feel” on some decisions that required me to go beyond conscious understanding and take a leap based on that feeling. This is also true in assessing and understanding people and personalities, both in my private and work life and if I were to put a percentage to it, I got to say that it has been a right decision or assessment 75% of the time. It is important for me to be able to read someone and try to gauge what makes that person tick. The underlying is probably driven by an innate need to be able to empathize and to customize decisions, responses, actions and words in response to the person's personality. I don't get it right all the time, but trying is important to me. Which is why I get really flustered when I am unable to read someone. Worst still if it is someone that I have been friends with for several years. This was the case over the CNY hols where I finally realized that I didn't know who Moonlight was despite our years of friendship. She is reclusive by nature and probably has enough skeletons in the closet to scare the living daylights out of me, but she is a lovely person and deserves the very best. But the lack of growth in our relationship and the fact that it is beginning to be a fairly one-sided affair (Banker Wanker gives, Moonlight takes) is really pushing me away. It takes two to tango and I feel like I am dancing alone to a tune that I don't even like. De-cluttering season again.
+++
Check out this new blog I stumbled on, it is by a cabbie in Las Vegas. Colourful encounters in the City of Lights.
+++
Its the 7th day of Chinese New Year tomorrow and its everyone's birthday! Happy birthday! What a pain trying to make a booking at restaurants, most places are fully booked out. Orang Cina really know how to makan la.
Have a good weekend!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Have a good one...Happy New Year
Banker Wanker wishes all his ah-pek and ah-lian readers a Happy Chinese New Year. While you are stuffing yourself silly with sweet meat, kacang, yee sang, siew yoke, fish maw, pork intestine soup, duck, biscuits, shandy and keropok, please spare a thought for Banker Wanker who has to watch what he eats this CNY due to his above-normal LDL cholesterol level :). Safe journey to all and have a good break.
Gong Xi Fa Cai, ni hou, pu hou, enjoy hou, ni ai wo, sher shoh, wo ker ai....(and other salutations for the festive season to all of you!)
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Oh, also, Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovey dovey people. While you are busy feeding your bf/gf/fb/wifey/hubby sweet meat (festive menu mahhh) over candlelight dinner, with Jay-Chou crooning his CNY cum Valentine canto-pop hit, New Year Sweet Embrace (NYSE) on the background, please remember to wear your underwear. Nanti krang, mata mata datang check. Spoil mood only. :)
Gong Xi Fa Cai, ni hou, pu hou, enjoy hou, ni ai wo, sher shoh, wo ker ai....(and other salutations for the festive season to all of you!)
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Oh, also, Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovey dovey people. While you are busy feeding your bf/gf/fb/wifey/hubby sweet meat (festive menu mahhh) over candlelight dinner, with Jay-Chou crooning his CNY cum Valentine canto-pop hit, New Year Sweet Embrace (NYSE) on the background, please remember to wear your underwear. Nanti krang, mata mata datang check. Spoil mood only. :)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Be Cool, Fool
In song writing, the basic understanding of structure or the ‘form’ of the song must be imbued by the psychological understanding that people have an unconscious desire for symmetry, and that the repetition of melodies, rhymes and form satisfies that need. The repetition of form also sets up a degree of predictability that's reassuring and comfortable to a listener i.e. a verse to start with, then a chorus, back to a verse, perhaps a bridge in between and the finale with the chorus fading. Transpose this to our everyday lives; we are all creatures of habit and the sense of predictability and repetition of routines gives us some form of comfort and the familiar is always such a safe place to be. I wonder if subconsciously, in our approach to relationships, careers and life experiences in general, do some of us follow a set of actions and responses that results in the corresponding outcomes, good or otherwise, that are repetitive and predictable? For example, dating. Obviously its never nice exiting from what seemed to be a great relationship at the onset and then having to go through the whole rigmarole of breaking-up, denial, acceptance and recovery. But subconsciously, I wonder if for some, could the thought of rediscovering new love thereafter or even experiencing the pain and tears of a breakup (yes, some of us can be sadistic that way and for some, pain is associated with the feeling of being alive cause its better to feel something than nothing at all) be so appealing that we “programme” ourselves to find reasons and avenues to engineer an exit, and repeat what we have done in the past cause they feel familiar? Look around you, do you see anyone like that?
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Watch Glee! Great music and characters!
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Sidekick got me a book, The New Dad’s Survival Guide – Man-to-Man Advice For First Time Fathers by Scott Mactavish. It’s a light-hearted manual for clueless fathers on what to expect from pregnancy till a 3 month old baby. I love some of the military styled abbreviations used in the book, which had me cracking up like a sick hyena. Some sampling:
BCF = Be Cool, Fool
NFU = New Family Unit
FPP = Female Parenting Partner
Critical Survival Tip : Your NFU will look just like an alien for her first few minutes of freedom. She may be covered in a waxy white substance or blood. For God’s sake, this is definitely a time to be BCF.
Post labor : Inevitably, the NFU must be taken to the nursery for measurements, cleaning and perhaps testing. It is difficult to watch him go with the nurse, but go he must. Just BCF.
The Discharge : You help the FPP into the car and drive off, happy to be heading home. Be advised, you will instinctively drive very slowly and scream the f-word at anyone who drives up on your back bumper. The FPP will say, “BCF.”
:) Be Cool, Fool....
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Watch Glee! Great music and characters!
+++
Sidekick got me a book, The New Dad’s Survival Guide – Man-to-Man Advice For First Time Fathers by Scott Mactavish. It’s a light-hearted manual for clueless fathers on what to expect from pregnancy till a 3 month old baby. I love some of the military styled abbreviations used in the book, which had me cracking up like a sick hyena. Some sampling:
BCF = Be Cool, Fool
NFU = New Family Unit
FPP = Female Parenting Partner
Critical Survival Tip : Your NFU will look just like an alien for her first few minutes of freedom. She may be covered in a waxy white substance or blood. For God’s sake, this is definitely a time to be BCF.
Post labor : Inevitably, the NFU must be taken to the nursery for measurements, cleaning and perhaps testing. It is difficult to watch him go with the nurse, but go he must. Just BCF.
The Discharge : You help the FPP into the car and drive off, happy to be heading home. Be advised, you will instinctively drive very slowly and scream the f-word at anyone who drives up on your back bumper. The FPP will say, “BCF.”
:) Be Cool, Fool....
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Regrets...I Have A Few
Overheard in Banker Wanker’s world:
Moonlight : “Do you think you have met your soulmate?”
Banker Wanker : “Yes”
Moonlight : “Not your…..”
Banker Wanker : “No”
Moonlight : “I understand…I feel you”
Banker Wanker : *looks under the table to see*
Moonlight : “Haha…I meant emotionally…for now”
Banker Wanker thinks that relationships of all kinds are opportunities for growth and seen from that angle, a better perspective on the relationships we create, develop and nurture can be achieved. He read that soulmates, whether romantic or not, arrive in your sphere for a reason. Instead of focusing so much on love and the imaginary "happily ever after," we should try re-focusing on life, and the entire truth of its experience.
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More output from my current contemplative mojo, and this time, it is about regrets. I am happy for those who professes to have no regrets in life or do not dwell in the past and merely live for the moment and the future…but hey, who are we kidding here. It is human to have regrets and I am trying to be as objective as possible in dissecting parts of my life that IS at the moment because of what WAS in the past. Ironic that I am using the word objective here, cause regrets are hardly ever objective but more emotive than anything else.
Regrets…
- Returning home after my studies (might have avoided the next regret)
- Marrying the wrong person
- Wrong career path
- Not taking better care of my health
- Too forgiving in the past
- Trying too much to be responsible and too unselfish at times to the detriment of my own happiness (and hence trying to make up for lost time now and trying to make a life for myself)
- Not saying what I feel at times
- Not buying that gorgeous 2 door car (available cash now tied up as equity in overpriced house, no sight of gorgeous 2 door car for the next 10 years)
Some can be fixed, some not…Banker Wanker is still very much work in progress.
+++
Check out this food review on Tanjung Tualang's famous fresh water prawns. I have been there before and it is awesome. Better try it out before the fresh water ponds in Perak dry-up in the future.
Moonlight : “Do you think you have met your soulmate?”
Banker Wanker : “Yes”
Moonlight : “Not your…..”
Banker Wanker : “No”
Moonlight : “I understand…I feel you”
Banker Wanker : *looks under the table to see*
Moonlight : “Haha…I meant emotionally…for now”
Banker Wanker thinks that relationships of all kinds are opportunities for growth and seen from that angle, a better perspective on the relationships we create, develop and nurture can be achieved. He read that soulmates, whether romantic or not, arrive in your sphere for a reason. Instead of focusing so much on love and the imaginary "happily ever after," we should try re-focusing on life, and the entire truth of its experience.
+++
More output from my current contemplative mojo, and this time, it is about regrets. I am happy for those who professes to have no regrets in life or do not dwell in the past and merely live for the moment and the future…but hey, who are we kidding here. It is human to have regrets and I am trying to be as objective as possible in dissecting parts of my life that IS at the moment because of what WAS in the past. Ironic that I am using the word objective here, cause regrets are hardly ever objective but more emotive than anything else.
Regrets…
- Returning home after my studies (might have avoided the next regret)
- Marrying the wrong person
- Wrong career path
- Not taking better care of my health
- Too forgiving in the past
- Trying too much to be responsible and too unselfish at times to the detriment of my own happiness (and hence trying to make up for lost time now and trying to make a life for myself)
- Not saying what I feel at times
- Not buying that gorgeous 2 door car (available cash now tied up as equity in overpriced house, no sight of gorgeous 2 door car for the next 10 years)
Some can be fixed, some not…Banker Wanker is still very much work in progress.
+++
Check out this food review on Tanjung Tualang's famous fresh water prawns. I have been there before and it is awesome. Better try it out before the fresh water ponds in Perak dry-up in the future.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
These are a few of my favourite things...
Since my little blood pressure episode, my contemplation mojo has been in overdrive and I have been reflecting on various aspects of my life and dissecting them to minute details to get a sense of where I am at the moment, what is important to me, what is lacking in my life at this stage, where do I want to head to, etc. This is a list of the small things/everyday things that I look forward to or enjoy when they materialize unexpectedly:
- Buying second hand books and discovering some hand written notes by previous owners while flipping through the pages
- Discovering good bread and pastries (latest being RK Pastries in SS15 Subang Jaya)
- My weekly walks at Kiara Park accompanied by some good music from my MP3
- Encountering wildlife (wild fowl, snakes, monkeys) during my weekly walks. (Don’t ask, KL boy a bit jakun sometimes)
- My Japanese tin can hitting a sweet spot with the engine humming silkily and the road ahead is void of traffic so that I can rev the counter for a while, windows down, wind blowing.
- Discovering forgotten money in pockets and books at home
- My bowl of cereals with low fat milk
- Reading before I call it a night
- Fresh laundry
- An afternoon nap with no one at home
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I have been working on migrating to Wordpress but the lack of time and also trying to reproduce the existing design is hampering my progress. I really do want to post some graphics/pictures to add some dimension but till I am happy with the Wordpress look, its still Banker Wanker at blogspot for the time being. Sabar ya :)
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I think the world economy is in a "W" recovery phase.
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Overheard in Bankerland:
Da King : "What are we doing here? Underpaid, work is s**t"
Banker Wanker : "Dunno"
Top Gun : "I also dunno, its time to leave I think"
Da King : "Yeah, but the question is where"
Top Gun : "Start looking, we are clearly underpaid here"
Banker Wanker : "Yeah, job market is pretty okay, can place out easily. Here, upward mobility is challenging with the General's low cost mentality and the layer of fat above us"
Top Gun : "Yar man"
Banker Wanker is comforted that he is not the only disgruntled employee here. At the same time, he is also alarmed by how things have deteriorated here and how the "pillars" of the department has gone from highly motivated staff to demotivated ones in a span of 6 months. Lesson for the year, the only constant thing is change. Let us embrace it.
- Buying second hand books and discovering some hand written notes by previous owners while flipping through the pages
- Discovering good bread and pastries (latest being RK Pastries in SS15 Subang Jaya)
- My weekly walks at Kiara Park accompanied by some good music from my MP3
- Encountering wildlife (wild fowl, snakes, monkeys) during my weekly walks. (Don’t ask, KL boy a bit jakun sometimes)
- My Japanese tin can hitting a sweet spot with the engine humming silkily and the road ahead is void of traffic so that I can rev the counter for a while, windows down, wind blowing.
- Discovering forgotten money in pockets and books at home
- My bowl of cereals with low fat milk
- Reading before I call it a night
- Fresh laundry
- An afternoon nap with no one at home
+++
I have been working on migrating to Wordpress but the lack of time and also trying to reproduce the existing design is hampering my progress. I really do want to post some graphics/pictures to add some dimension but till I am happy with the Wordpress look, its still Banker Wanker at blogspot for the time being. Sabar ya :)
+++
I think the world economy is in a "W" recovery phase.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
Da King : "What are we doing here? Underpaid, work is s**t"
Banker Wanker : "Dunno"
Top Gun : "I also dunno, its time to leave I think"
Da King : "Yeah, but the question is where"
Top Gun : "Start looking, we are clearly underpaid here"
Banker Wanker : "Yeah, job market is pretty okay, can place out easily. Here, upward mobility is challenging with the General's low cost mentality and the layer of fat above us"
Top Gun : "Yar man"
Banker Wanker is comforted that he is not the only disgruntled employee here. At the same time, he is also alarmed by how things have deteriorated here and how the "pillars" of the department has gone from highly motivated staff to demotivated ones in a span of 6 months. Lesson for the year, the only constant thing is change. Let us embrace it.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Quickie
Overheard in Bankerland:
After returning from a pitch
Ghee Tosai(underachiever, highly paid staff): "You think we screwed up in anyway?"
Capon: "Well, yes and no..blah blah blah"
Banker Wanker and others eavesdropping on conversation at doorway. Yes, they did screw up and Capon was doing his usual "lets-think-this-through-console-myself" talk.
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Had a long weekend taking care of Bumblebee. Brought him to the doctor for his checkup and jab, and am glad to report that he is healthy and pink. In fact, the boy is putting on weight real fast! That's my boy....
Body is aching like mad and my knees and back are hurting from all the carrying and walking. Age is really catching up...
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Visited the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was sky high and I have made the decision that it is time to take medication to alleviate the problem. I have procrastinated too long and have used too many excuses to avoid it, but unless I want to see daylight beyond 35, its the only way.
For you working professionals out there with stressful jobs and family history, please go and have a check up soon yar, Banker Wanker needs all of you to stay healthy so that you can continue reading this blog!*so perasan hor*
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Its been ages since I last went for a job interview, what more a job that I truly am interested in. So this week, I decided that it is time to seriously look at what's out there in the job market and start meeting some people, which I did and I am glad I did it. I won't say I did fantastically, probably give myself a 7.5 out of 10. But it does feel good breaching that psychological barrier of finally deciding that enough is enough. Lets get a move on...I urge you to follow suit too if you are unhappy about something in your own life. Life is really too short.
Just a quick post for now, promise to write more soon, stay tune, ovar and out. Meanwhile check out Kinkybluefairy's post on her trip to Spain recently. *Banker Wanker super jeles now...sigh, Spain and Claudia Bassol* :)
After returning from a pitch
Ghee Tosai(underachiever, highly paid staff): "You think we screwed up in anyway?"
Capon: "Well, yes and no..blah blah blah"
Banker Wanker and others eavesdropping on conversation at doorway. Yes, they did screw up and Capon was doing his usual "lets-think-this-through-console-myself" talk.
+++
Had a long weekend taking care of Bumblebee. Brought him to the doctor for his checkup and jab, and am glad to report that he is healthy and pink. In fact, the boy is putting on weight real fast! That's my boy....
Body is aching like mad and my knees and back are hurting from all the carrying and walking. Age is really catching up...
+++
Visited the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was sky high and I have made the decision that it is time to take medication to alleviate the problem. I have procrastinated too long and have used too many excuses to avoid it, but unless I want to see daylight beyond 35, its the only way.
For you working professionals out there with stressful jobs and family history, please go and have a check up soon yar, Banker Wanker needs all of you to stay healthy so that you can continue reading this blog!*so perasan hor*
+++
Its been ages since I last went for a job interview, what more a job that I truly am interested in. So this week, I decided that it is time to seriously look at what's out there in the job market and start meeting some people, which I did and I am glad I did it. I won't say I did fantastically, probably give myself a 7.5 out of 10. But it does feel good breaching that psychological barrier of finally deciding that enough is enough. Lets get a move on...I urge you to follow suit too if you are unhappy about something in your own life. Life is really too short.
Just a quick post for now, promise to write more soon, stay tune, ovar and out. Meanwhile check out Kinkybluefairy's post on her trip to Spain recently. *Banker Wanker super jeles now...sigh, Spain and Claudia Bassol* :)
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