With the spate of resignations in Bankerland, I have had to take a step back and ask what is it that Bankerland can offer to its employees. Perhaps, specifically, The General and Capon, what can they offer to their staff in the department. Obviously in these day and age, money is not and cannot be the only solution to long term loyalty and staff retention. And after much thought and brutal soul searching and reality checks, I realised that Bankerland is just going no where. All this rah-rah about regional expansion are just, well rah-rah. I have severe doubts now on the ability of The General and Capon to lead us to the promised land in a timeframe which is reasonable. I suppose at their level, they have much to lose and taking off to another organization is out of their comfort zone. So they got to stick with this and try to make it work. But it is truly a conundrum when their experiences have mainly been confined to the local market. Coupled with their policy of not hiring foreign help but rely on home grown organic talent, we have the perfect recipe for denial and the inability to execute the roadmap. Don't get me wrong, I am cool with home grown organic talent but sometimes, a dose of new blood could be the needed catalyst for a paradigm shift. On this premise, for the younger ones in the department who can recognize that we are not going anywhere here, the only option to avoid redundancy in 10 years time is to move on to a place that can offer a wider scope of work.
Sleep on it and hope for an epiphany.
+++
If God was an employer and we are employed as denizens on earth (I am keeping all the biblical promises etc out of here and just trying to create a contextual frame), what would be the value proposition for our existence here? Is it to experience sparodic happiness in one's life? Is it to live a path, irregardless of the destination, and say at the end of the day that it was the journey that matters? To enjoy earth and its material objects? To experience love? Is living life as great as its made out to be? Is our existence necessary save for the continuity of the human species? When Bumblebee grows up, what do I tell him when he ask the reason for his existence?
I do not have a definite answer to all of these and perhaps the answer is only realisable towards the end of our lives, which in itself is a true tragedy. Perhaps the trick is to observe the people around us that seem to operate and live with meaning and purpose.Hmmm, where do I find meself some truly happy people, nyek nyek nyek.......
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Banker Wanker:"I do not think our value proposition to our staff is strong..we do not have a regional story etc etc"
The General :"We are working on it, albeit at a slow pace"
Banker Wanker :"Staff might be worried about redundancy in 10 years time etc etc"
The General :"Not true, Capon and myself don't really have much of a regional background but we continue to get job offers from foreign banks..*rah rah rah about past glories*"
Banker Wanker :"The future might be different?"
Banker Wanker thinks that The General and Capon might be suffering from tunnel vision and illusion of past grandeur.
+++
Since the Queen is about to start work again after her maternity leave, we have been planning for Bumblebee's care for the days when we are both working trying to earn the buckeroos to fund his milk runs and diapers. The tricky part really is trying to balance Bumblebee's time with both in-laws and the help they would require to take care of him. The guilt does set in sometimes since it would mean a considerable sacrifice on their part especially to their daily routine and freedom. Don't get me started on the process of trying to get a maid, eventhough if you are willing to pay good money for help. The fear from hearing the horror stories associated with a foreign maid is enough to give me sleepless nights.
Sherlock Holmes the movie starring Robert Downey is cool la, go watch it!
+++
My last post for the year, so be good and have a Happy New Year. Let's turn the page and hope for the best and if the best is elusive at the end of it, we shall and will continue to soldier on because that is the best we can do. Over and out for 2009.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
So, its Christmas Eve and the whole jing bang will be congregating for the annual Christmas Eve dinner. It is a great time of the year...yadah, yadi, yadah...just ain't feeling it this year and I wonder if I will ever feel it again. I suppose that is why, like in the movies, families get exuberantly excited when there is a new face to the gatherings i.e. new boyfriends/girlfriends, fiance, fuck buddies etc. Its a welcomed distraction to the otherwise mundane conversations (and oh so often repeated topics) and the glossing over unspoken family politics. Well, at least I will have Bumblebee to humor me this time round *secretly praying for him to go nuclear poo poo today, the scent will mix well with the curry chicken...yummm*
+++
Apparently Capon is tired, not sure if that extends to his personal life as well. But heck, I rather be tired with a big fat salary than be tired with peanuts as salary. So, am sorry if I can't really sympathize with his jadedness. All I know is, its affecting the people and morale here. Market share is down too and the other banks are either way ahead or are at level playing field now. We have some structural issues here which I am not sure if Capon and the General sees, but I really don't want to be around when the shit hits the fan. Nasi akan menjadi bubur tak lama lagi. Blurp
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
--Snoop Dawg:"Banker Wanker, how la, so many people leaving, 2010 is going to be an interesting year"
Banker Wanker: "Don't worry la. Oh, I can say that coz I am leaving :))))"
Snoop Dawg: "Bugger you"
Banker Wanker: *peace sign gawai style*
--Petals :"Eh, why all your key staff leaving la?"
Capon :"Dunno, I thought their compensation was sufficient"
When Banker Wanker heard this, he wanted to stab hiw own eyeballs and eardrums. Capon very well know and has admitted in the past that compensation for some staff was way below the average. I fear for everyone's future here if the mindset is such..be afraid, be very afraid.
+++
Merry Christmas and try to be happy yar. Avatar is a kick ass movie, I so want to be a Na'vi now and hump a Na'vi chick.
+++
Apparently Capon is tired, not sure if that extends to his personal life as well. But heck, I rather be tired with a big fat salary than be tired with peanuts as salary. So, am sorry if I can't really sympathize with his jadedness. All I know is, its affecting the people and morale here. Market share is down too and the other banks are either way ahead or are at level playing field now. We have some structural issues here which I am not sure if Capon and the General sees, but I really don't want to be around when the shit hits the fan. Nasi akan menjadi bubur tak lama lagi. Blurp
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
--Snoop Dawg:"Banker Wanker, how la, so many people leaving, 2010 is going to be an interesting year"
Banker Wanker: "Don't worry la. Oh, I can say that coz I am leaving :))))"
Snoop Dawg: "Bugger you"
Banker Wanker: *peace sign gawai style*
--Petals :"Eh, why all your key staff leaving la?"
Capon :"Dunno, I thought their compensation was sufficient"
When Banker Wanker heard this, he wanted to stab hiw own eyeballs and eardrums. Capon very well know and has admitted in the past that compensation for some staff was way below the average. I fear for everyone's future here if the mindset is such..be afraid, be very afraid.
+++
Merry Christmas and try to be happy yar. Avatar is a kick ass movie, I so want to be a Na'vi now and hump a Na'vi chick.
Monday, December 21, 2009
10 Things.....
Since its the year end, this is my obligatory post on things we should all try do for the new year:
11 Things To Do For The New Year
1) Visit a home (senior citizen, orphanage, etc)
2) Take a vow of silence for 1 day
3) Cook for your loved ones more often
4) Declutter your house, office cubicle and car
5) Tell someone that you love him/her
6) Get a hair cut that is totally different from your usual haircut
7) Find out a local or even foreign family/person who are living below the poverty line and send some cash in an envelope and brighten someone's day
8) Switch off your handphone for a day
9) Write an old fashion letter (pen and paper!) to someone
10) Hug someone you have never hugged before
11) Dance like you have never danced before
+++
10 Things Banker Wanker SHOULD Try To Do In The New Year To Preserve His Sanity
1) Quit Bankerland and open my beach bar and wear hawaiian shorts all day long
2) Tell that chick at Starbucks that she is real cute and ask if I can have her without cream please (to do after quitting)
3) Make some model houses from boxes lying around office, put them right in the middle of the department and start tearing through them like the monsters in Ultraman at the start of a working day (with the monster sounds and stilted walk)
4) Bring Bumblebee out and show him off to strangers etc, and refer to him as a "she"..."Yeah, she is cute huh..am so proud of her". Watch the confused and conflicted faces.
5) Introduce myself as Datuk Banker Wanker and see if they still call me Datuk the next time we meet
6) Play monastery music at cubicle every morning and chant BLR BLR BLRBLRBLR UP UP DOWN DOWN DOWN (repeat for 30 cycles)
7) Learn how to circular breath and tell the chicks that I can dive for abalone without coming up for air (with suggestive look)
8) Walk around funny talking loudly on the phone and laughing.. "No seriously..haha, its still up my ass, I am so going to win the bet dude, lunch is so on you"
9) Tell the bosses that I quit and throw the letter on the table. Opens the letter right there and show them a letter saying "Too Legit To Quit" and dance the MC Hammer dance out of the office
10) Dance like I have never danced before :)
11 Things To Do For The New Year
1) Visit a home (senior citizen, orphanage, etc)
2) Take a vow of silence for 1 day
3) Cook for your loved ones more often
4) Declutter your house, office cubicle and car
5) Tell someone that you love him/her
6) Get a hair cut that is totally different from your usual haircut
7) Find out a local or even foreign family/person who are living below the poverty line and send some cash in an envelope and brighten someone's day
8) Switch off your handphone for a day
9) Write an old fashion letter (pen and paper!) to someone
10) Hug someone you have never hugged before
11) Dance like you have never danced before
+++
10 Things Banker Wanker SHOULD Try To Do In The New Year To Preserve His Sanity
1) Quit Bankerland and open my beach bar and wear hawaiian shorts all day long
2) Tell that chick at Starbucks that she is real cute and ask if I can have her without cream please (to do after quitting)
3) Make some model houses from boxes lying around office, put them right in the middle of the department and start tearing through them like the monsters in Ultraman at the start of a working day (with the monster sounds and stilted walk)
4) Bring Bumblebee out and show him off to strangers etc, and refer to him as a "she"..."Yeah, she is cute huh..am so proud of her". Watch the confused and conflicted faces.
5) Introduce myself as Datuk Banker Wanker and see if they still call me Datuk the next time we meet
6) Play monastery music at cubicle every morning and chant BLR BLR BLRBLRBLR UP UP DOWN DOWN DOWN (repeat for 30 cycles)
7) Learn how to circular breath and tell the chicks that I can dive for abalone without coming up for air (with suggestive look)
8) Walk around funny talking loudly on the phone and laughing.. "No seriously..haha, its still up my ass, I am so going to win the bet dude, lunch is so on you"
9) Tell the bosses that I quit and throw the letter on the table. Opens the letter right there and show them a letter saying "Too Legit To Quit" and dance the MC Hammer dance out of the office
10) Dance like I have never danced before :)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
We Have What It Takes
Overheard in Bankerland:
Capon : "I need you on a taskforce"
Banker Wanker : *die* "What about?"
Capon : "Blah blah blah blah..."
Banker Wanker : *puts on neutral-quick-you-are-boring-me look* *mind drifts off to Jessica Biel's pecs and wonder if she can crack pistachios with her ass*
Banker Wanker thinks that the word taskforce is so apt...its a group of underpaid mid level managers (with senior leadership supervision kononnya) assembled to carry out a task that is forced unto them.
+++
Am currently listening to Sarah Maclachlan's greatest hits album. Her music speaks to my soul. I like.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland,later on the same day:
--Sidekick : "Banker Wanker, we have what it takes..."
Banker Wanker : "To do what?"
Sidekick :"We have what it takes...."
Banker Wanker : "Ok..."
Banker Wanker tries to go into zen mode to decipher this mind boggling piece of zen-nery from Sidekick.
+++
We have what it takes to achieve many things in life and to gain many things in life. But sometimes, we either do not recognize it or are to afraid to take the first step on the path towards rainbow skies and hot mince pies. Instead we putter along ambivalently, never ever fulfilling ones potential, feeling jaded and not knowing why the years are passing so quickly and uneventfully. By the time you know it, 40 is just around the corner and all you have to show for is 2 decades of mediocrity, 2 dozen of missed opportunities, 2 mortgages with no end of repayment in sight, 2 aging labradors that looks as jaded as you and 2 pages of things to do before you are 40..all unchecked. Perhaps its the order of the universe, natural selection so to speak. The ones that can differentiate themselves from the pack will reap the fruits of their labour while the rest continue their existence so that there is representation in the 95% quartile of the bell curve, the median, normal, average....oh, how I hate these words and I suspect competitive, ambitious, high achieving souls like Sidekick would balk and would rather have an extra nipple than be called average. Personally, the extra nipple might be a turn on :), but hell don't ever be average. I refuse to....that's a start. Let's go...
Capon : "I need you on a taskforce"
Banker Wanker : *die* "What about?"
Capon : "Blah blah blah blah..."
Banker Wanker : *puts on neutral-quick-you-are-boring-me look* *mind drifts off to Jessica Biel's pecs and wonder if she can crack pistachios with her ass*
Banker Wanker thinks that the word taskforce is so apt...its a group of underpaid mid level managers (with senior leadership supervision kononnya) assembled to carry out a task that is forced unto them.
+++
Am currently listening to Sarah Maclachlan's greatest hits album. Her music speaks to my soul. I like.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland,later on the same day:
--Sidekick : "Banker Wanker, we have what it takes..."
Banker Wanker : "To do what?"
Sidekick :"We have what it takes...."
Banker Wanker : "Ok..."
Banker Wanker tries to go into zen mode to decipher this mind boggling piece of zen-nery from Sidekick.
+++
We have what it takes to achieve many things in life and to gain many things in life. But sometimes, we either do not recognize it or are to afraid to take the first step on the path towards rainbow skies and hot mince pies. Instead we putter along ambivalently, never ever fulfilling ones potential, feeling jaded and not knowing why the years are passing so quickly and uneventfully. By the time you know it, 40 is just around the corner and all you have to show for is 2 decades of mediocrity, 2 dozen of missed opportunities, 2 mortgages with no end of repayment in sight, 2 aging labradors that looks as jaded as you and 2 pages of things to do before you are 40..all unchecked. Perhaps its the order of the universe, natural selection so to speak. The ones that can differentiate themselves from the pack will reap the fruits of their labour while the rest continue their existence so that there is representation in the 95% quartile of the bell curve, the median, normal, average....oh, how I hate these words and I suspect competitive, ambitious, high achieving souls like Sidekick would balk and would rather have an extra nipple than be called average. Personally, the extra nipple might be a turn on :), but hell don't ever be average. I refuse to....that's a start. Let's go...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The Calm Before The Storm
I really love this post from one of my favourite blogs, Marc and Angel.
I would really like to think that what I am going through now is part of a journey that is worth it at the end of the day.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Capon :"Ok, what is CFO Interest Cover, the CFO?"
Banker Wanker : "Cashflow from operations"
Capon :"Why is my CFO negative?"
Banker Wanker :"Err....revenue negative? High receivables?" *trying to mask incredulous look*
Capon : "Yes, that is right, got high receivables" *walks away*
Banker Wanker thinks that if the question is for real, Capon should be shot with a pump gun up the ass, then screwed from behind by a 3 legged elephant. If the question is meant to create some form of conversation, it is as lame as his teeny weeny appendage down south.
+++
I think that some new analyst in Bankerland needs to be taught a thing or two about common courtesy. Rewind: I had the opportunity to interview one of the analyst and I gave a positive recommendation, which resulted in her employment in Bankerland. Forward : Its been 3 months, and she has not even said hi or greeted me at the lifts etc. Err, lack of common courtesy or maybe I look so different then that she cannot recognise me? Tragic.
+++
The last 3 months have truly been fluid, with so many developments and changes at home and in Bankerland. I have so much to say, but my state of emotional suspension and flux means I can't really focus and put down in writing some of my thoughts and feelings I have inside. Perhaps its a sub-conscious self-defense mechanism to try to shield my already jaded soul from the realities of my surroundings. Or perhaps I am increasingly receding into my shell, to find comfort and solace in my own silence, with the hope that the deafening silence will eventually mute the torrential turmoil that is blowing inside. Or perhaps, its the calm before the storm and if so, which part of me will survive the storm eventually? Something got to give, but I fear I have little to give anymore...
I would really like to think that what I am going through now is part of a journey that is worth it at the end of the day.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Capon :"Ok, what is CFO Interest Cover, the CFO?"
Banker Wanker : "Cashflow from operations"
Capon :"Why is my CFO negative?"
Banker Wanker :"Err....revenue negative? High receivables?" *trying to mask incredulous look*
Capon : "Yes, that is right, got high receivables" *walks away*
Banker Wanker thinks that if the question is for real, Capon should be shot with a pump gun up the ass, then screwed from behind by a 3 legged elephant. If the question is meant to create some form of conversation, it is as lame as his teeny weeny appendage down south.
+++
I think that some new analyst in Bankerland needs to be taught a thing or two about common courtesy. Rewind: I had the opportunity to interview one of the analyst and I gave a positive recommendation, which resulted in her employment in Bankerland. Forward : Its been 3 months, and she has not even said hi or greeted me at the lifts etc. Err, lack of common courtesy or maybe I look so different then that she cannot recognise me? Tragic.
+++
The last 3 months have truly been fluid, with so many developments and changes at home and in Bankerland. I have so much to say, but my state of emotional suspension and flux means I can't really focus and put down in writing some of my thoughts and feelings I have inside. Perhaps its a sub-conscious self-defense mechanism to try to shield my already jaded soul from the realities of my surroundings. Or perhaps I am increasingly receding into my shell, to find comfort and solace in my own silence, with the hope that the deafening silence will eventually mute the torrential turmoil that is blowing inside. Or perhaps, its the calm before the storm and if so, which part of me will survive the storm eventually? Something got to give, but I fear I have little to give anymore...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Serendipity
Chance...
Life is full of chances, most of them are there for the taking only once and if you are truly lucky, second chances presents itself. Sometimes, its right infront of your face but you do not recognise it until much later and by then the sand of time would have shifted and the path you are on would mean you can never ever turn back. Life is full of regrets, so take more chances, so that you would have less of the former. At the least, if things don't work out, at least you have tried to walk the path, rather than just knowing the path.
Fate, Destiny...
If you truly believe in fate or destiny, fate must be the single most ironical aspect of life cause at the end of the day, irregardless of how hard you try to fight the grain, everything is fated. But some may ask that if everything is fated, then what is the point of trying to live? Might as well just leave it to fate and destiny? But fate sometimes serves a bigger purpose, where your fate or destiny is pre-ordained so that you can live. And the reality is, your fate, your destiny sometimes forms a wider pattern in God's overall plan and that you are meant to suffer, to not live for someone else's happiness or purpose.
I believe the road that you are suppose to walk on has huge spaces on the left and right that will allow you to stray far enough to make you feel like you are living but close enough such that you follow the path to what is fated, pre-ordained for you. The good thing about fate though is that once in a while, it throws you a curve ball that is totally unexpected and seemingly daunting at times, but always interesting and sometimes heart wrenching. Ain't these part of the kaleidoscope of what we call living?
+++
-- Banker Wanker :"I can't"
Booty Call :"Not free?"
Banker Wanker : "Am not in a good place now"
Booty Call :"Ok, will catch up soon?"
Banker Wanker "Definitely"
Banker Wanker smacks big forehead. Talk about chances.
+++
In Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series, the term ta'veren is used and it describes "A person around whom the Wheel of Time weaves all surrounding life-threads, perhaps ALL life-threads, to form a Web of Destiny." Basically a person who is the centre to all and will affect everyone's life and path. I somehow feel that in my time in Bankerland and the recent resignation and those I know that are coming, I have met a Ta'veren and things would be different from here on with the person's departure.
Thanks for the memories Soulmate.
Life is full of chances, most of them are there for the taking only once and if you are truly lucky, second chances presents itself. Sometimes, its right infront of your face but you do not recognise it until much later and by then the sand of time would have shifted and the path you are on would mean you can never ever turn back. Life is full of regrets, so take more chances, so that you would have less of the former. At the least, if things don't work out, at least you have tried to walk the path, rather than just knowing the path.
Fate, Destiny...
If you truly believe in fate or destiny, fate must be the single most ironical aspect of life cause at the end of the day, irregardless of how hard you try to fight the grain, everything is fated. But some may ask that if everything is fated, then what is the point of trying to live? Might as well just leave it to fate and destiny? But fate sometimes serves a bigger purpose, where your fate or destiny is pre-ordained so that you can live. And the reality is, your fate, your destiny sometimes forms a wider pattern in God's overall plan and that you are meant to suffer, to not live for someone else's happiness or purpose.
I believe the road that you are suppose to walk on has huge spaces on the left and right that will allow you to stray far enough to make you feel like you are living but close enough such that you follow the path to what is fated, pre-ordained for you. The good thing about fate though is that once in a while, it throws you a curve ball that is totally unexpected and seemingly daunting at times, but always interesting and sometimes heart wrenching. Ain't these part of the kaleidoscope of what we call living?
+++
-- Banker Wanker :"I can't"
Booty Call :"Not free?"
Banker Wanker : "Am not in a good place now"
Booty Call :"Ok, will catch up soon?"
Banker Wanker "Definitely"
Banker Wanker smacks big forehead. Talk about chances.
+++
In Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series, the term ta'veren is used and it describes "A person around whom the Wheel of Time weaves all surrounding life-threads, perhaps ALL life-threads, to form a Web of Destiny." Basically a person who is the centre to all and will affect everyone's life and path. I somehow feel that in my time in Bankerland and the recent resignation and those I know that are coming, I have met a Ta'veren and things would be different from here on with the person's departure.
Thanks for the memories Soulmate.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Ad Meliora...I Hope
Had lunch with Midori recently and the conversation gravitated to the person Midori is dating, who is almost 10 years older. She has never dated younger or similar aged men before solely for the reason that she doesn't find them matured enough for her liking.
I wonder if its really age that determines the level of maturity or the conditioning/background/up-bringing/experiences that determines the level of maturity. I suppose being an aged person means you would have more experiences, but a young person could feasibly have an accelerated "life" such that the person is beyond his/her age. Food for thought.
+++
Capon : "Banker Wanker, what time is the meeting next week?"
Banker Wanker : "Capon, 9.30 a.m"
Capon : *Walks away without saying anything*
Banker Wanker : Mentally throws 100 shirukens towards Capon's slimy back.
Banker Wanker : "I will miss you"
Soulmate : "Me too"
Banker Wanker : "Life is such"
Soulmate : "Ce'st la vie"
Banker Wanker feels like 100 shirukens had just pierce through his heart.
Banker Wanker : "I don't have anything for myself, I have given too much. I just want something for myself"
The Queen : "Do you think I have much?"
Banker Wanker : "Your centre is family, mine has always been a different composite. In any case, for once, this conversation is not about you. Its about me"
Banker Wanker trying to be frank, but feels that he has to continue on this road of trepidation for Bumblebee's sake.
+++
Procastination is such a disease. For the longest time I have thought about branching out, leaving Bankerland and the corporate world and just having a swing at something entrepreneurial. Something deep down says that I have the tools for it, but making that first big step is like standing at the edge of the cliff of Niagara Falls, knowing that your one step needs to cover 1km across. Gulp. No balls, no rewards, no glory. But I feel that recent developments are pushing me towards that edge and very soon, I may have to make that big leap across the abyss and see where I land on the other side.
+++
I don't care what people say, and while I am not really a golfing fan, I think people should leave Tiger Woods alone cause he has a right to seek his own happiness and so be it if it takes the form of promiscuity and random sex. Go Tiger, go sink more birdies :)
I wonder if its really age that determines the level of maturity or the conditioning/background/up-bringing/experiences that determines the level of maturity. I suppose being an aged person means you would have more experiences, but a young person could feasibly have an accelerated "life" such that the person is beyond his/her age. Food for thought.
+++
Capon : "Banker Wanker, what time is the meeting next week?"
Banker Wanker : "Capon, 9.30 a.m"
Capon : *Walks away without saying anything*
Banker Wanker : Mentally throws 100 shirukens towards Capon's slimy back.
Banker Wanker : "I will miss you"
Soulmate : "Me too"
Banker Wanker : "Life is such"
Soulmate : "Ce'st la vie"
Banker Wanker feels like 100 shirukens had just pierce through his heart.
Banker Wanker : "I don't have anything for myself, I have given too much. I just want something for myself"
The Queen : "Do you think I have much?"
Banker Wanker : "Your centre is family, mine has always been a different composite. In any case, for once, this conversation is not about you. Its about me"
Banker Wanker trying to be frank, but feels that he has to continue on this road of trepidation for Bumblebee's sake.
+++
Procastination is such a disease. For the longest time I have thought about branching out, leaving Bankerland and the corporate world and just having a swing at something entrepreneurial. Something deep down says that I have the tools for it, but making that first big step is like standing at the edge of the cliff of Niagara Falls, knowing that your one step needs to cover 1km across. Gulp. No balls, no rewards, no glory. But I feel that recent developments are pushing me towards that edge and very soon, I may have to make that big leap across the abyss and see where I land on the other side.
+++
I don't care what people say, and while I am not really a golfing fan, I think people should leave Tiger Woods alone cause he has a right to seek his own happiness and so be it if it takes the form of promiscuity and random sex. Go Tiger, go sink more birdies :)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Welcome to Bankerland
Overheard in Bankerland this week:
--Small Dick :"Eh, Puchong Boy, where is my scientific calculator"
(Small Dick is actually quite threatened by Puchong Boy who is a newbie)
Puchong Boy :"In my bag, I am almost done with it"
Small Dick : "Faster la, I got some important calculations to do"
Banker Wanker : *Rolls eyes* ...yar right, calculating the length of
your dick issit?
-- General's Secretary : "Banker Wanker, can you drive boss to meeting
today? He got no car"
Banker Wanker : "Can, let me go and buy a car this morning first"
*with dead pan look*
General's Secretary : "Hehe" *nervous guffaw*
Bad enough I am underpaid, have to waste petrol from additional weight
in the car. Lan ciao bin.
--Banker Wanker : "Capon, this ain't my deal,its Babi Guling and his team
head's deal, what am I doing here and why am I running it?"
Capon : "The General wants you to be in because you know the client"
Banker Wanker : "But I already have so many on my plate, Baby Guling and his boss only have ONE deal currently"
Capon : :"Its ok, you can combine resources"
Banker Wanker : *Gives niamah smiling look*
Capon, I wish that you will grow a dick back, then we can capon you again just for the heck of it.
+++
Talent management, wow, what a buzz word. Bankerland is embarking on some talent management programme. They require "potential" candidates to fill up this lengthy profile form whick reeks of "Actually hor, we in HR do not really know who the talents are out there, so we are using this form and sending it to everyone who are holding senior managerial positions and above to see if there are any talents out there".
Banker Wanker :"Capon, you know about this?"
Capon :"Yes, you fall within the bank's critical talent pool for
high performers and have been identified as potential
successor in leadership sucession planning"
Banker Wanker only hears blah blah blah blah. Sharpens knife for capon session. *Smiling dementedly just thinking about it*
+++
Seriously, I think I have perfected my dead pan, blur sotong, look interested, smiling dementedly looks.
General :"We need to follow up with this client on the pitch, other banks
are infront apparently. Please call the finance manager to see
whats going on"
Banker Wanker : *Wide eyed, put on interested look* "Yes, yes, we should do that, ok got to go" *runs like a guy being chased by 5
butch females on Harley Davidson bikes adorned with
battery operated dildos*
+++
Goldman Sachs just got an advisory license in Kay-El. Any takers?
--Small Dick :"Eh, Puchong Boy, where is my scientific calculator"
(Small Dick is actually quite threatened by Puchong Boy who is a newbie)
Puchong Boy :"In my bag, I am almost done with it"
Small Dick : "Faster la, I got some important calculations to do"
Banker Wanker : *Rolls eyes* ...yar right, calculating the length of
your dick issit?
-- General's Secretary : "Banker Wanker, can you drive boss to meeting
today? He got no car"
Banker Wanker : "Can, let me go and buy a car this morning first"
*with dead pan look*
General's Secretary : "Hehe" *nervous guffaw*
Bad enough I am underpaid, have to waste petrol from additional weight
in the car. Lan ciao bin.
--Banker Wanker : "Capon, this ain't my deal,its Babi Guling and his team
head's deal, what am I doing here and why am I running it?"
Capon : "The General wants you to be in because you know the client"
Banker Wanker : "But I already have so many on my plate, Baby Guling and his boss only have ONE deal currently"
Capon : :"Its ok, you can combine resources"
Banker Wanker : *Gives niamah smiling look*
Capon, I wish that you will grow a dick back, then we can capon you again just for the heck of it.
+++
Talent management, wow, what a buzz word. Bankerland is embarking on some talent management programme. They require "potential" candidates to fill up this lengthy profile form whick reeks of "Actually hor, we in HR do not really know who the talents are out there, so we are using this form and sending it to everyone who are holding senior managerial positions and above to see if there are any talents out there".
Banker Wanker :"Capon, you know about this?"
Capon :"Yes, you fall within the bank's critical talent pool for
high performers and have been identified as potential
successor in leadership sucession planning"
Banker Wanker only hears blah blah blah blah. Sharpens knife for capon session. *Smiling dementedly just thinking about it*
+++
Seriously, I think I have perfected my dead pan, blur sotong, look interested, smiling dementedly looks.
General :"We need to follow up with this client on the pitch, other banks
are infront apparently. Please call the finance manager to see
whats going on"
Banker Wanker : *Wide eyed, put on interested look* "Yes, yes, we should do that, ok got to go" *runs like a guy being chased by 5
butch females on Harley Davidson bikes adorned with
battery operated dildos*
+++
Goldman Sachs just got an advisory license in Kay-El. Any takers?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sidekick - Redux
Weekend Checklist:
-- Puts on game face and store Banker Wanker away. Check.
-- Thoughts on Soulmate and other soul wrenching thoughts and memories put away in secret hiding place. Check
-- Puts on armour and spikes to protect fragile heart. Check
Steps out to bravely face the weekend.
Monday morning : Back to Banker Wanker mode. It feels familiar and comforting.
+++
Unspoken, but I think Soulmate and myself have said our farewell and its time to move on, well, at least for Soulmate. As for me, I will fester and let time sooth the weary soul (unconvinced), until the next time something reminds me of the "what ifs", "what could have beens" and how life can be ironic and cruel at times. Sidekick once said, "We just got to keep on swimming" (from Dory of Finding Nemo).Ok Sidekick, Banker Wanker will continue to swim into the abyss.
I can't take so many farewells, so ain't attending some of them. Its like a scab that won't heal.
+++
I know I ain't jinxing anything anymore since its almost a done deal, but I wanted to tell Sidekick that I am really happy for you and that I will miss you in Bankerland. My happiness for you overides the sadness and we will always be inexorably linked by our time spent here in Bankerland, and that truly is something that have defined my life, who I am and what I will be in the future...I am certain and I feel lucky to have crossed paths with you. Thank you for teaching this old dog a trick or two and if you ever need "saving", you know where to find me, in my pseudo Batcave waiting to save the world again, with my Sidekick and confidante.
-- Puts on game face and store Banker Wanker away. Check.
-- Thoughts on Soulmate and other soul wrenching thoughts and memories put away in secret hiding place. Check
-- Puts on armour and spikes to protect fragile heart. Check
Steps out to bravely face the weekend.
Monday morning : Back to Banker Wanker mode. It feels familiar and comforting.
+++
Unspoken, but I think Soulmate and myself have said our farewell and its time to move on, well, at least for Soulmate. As for me, I will fester and let time sooth the weary soul (unconvinced), until the next time something reminds me of the "what ifs", "what could have beens" and how life can be ironic and cruel at times. Sidekick once said, "We just got to keep on swimming" (from Dory of Finding Nemo).Ok Sidekick, Banker Wanker will continue to swim into the abyss.
I can't take so many farewells, so ain't attending some of them. Its like a scab that won't heal.
+++
I know I ain't jinxing anything anymore since its almost a done deal, but I wanted to tell Sidekick that I am really happy for you and that I will miss you in Bankerland. My happiness for you overides the sadness and we will always be inexorably linked by our time spent here in Bankerland, and that truly is something that have defined my life, who I am and what I will be in the future...I am certain and I feel lucky to have crossed paths with you. Thank you for teaching this old dog a trick or two and if you ever need "saving", you know where to find me, in my pseudo Batcave waiting to save the world again, with my Sidekick and confidante.
Friday, December 4, 2009
T.G.I.F NOT
Songs that were playing in my head during this morning's 3a.m milk run for Bumblebee:
- Alone(Hearts)
- How Can I Tell Her (Lobo)
- Theme song from Airwolf (feeding Bumblebee feels like a mission. Cry.make milk asap.pick up.placement on lap.put napkin.aim teat into cavity.feed.burp.feed.burp.back to cot.DONE)
Current state of mind: Brewing between denial and acceptance, with a chance of prolonged mental anguish. Sunny days not expected in the foreseeable future, hailstorms and thunder likely. Cloudy skies definite.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland last month:
- "I think for this one, we need to doggy-style it la, bang bang"
- "We shall optimise our resources and ride this out"
Banker Wanker : "Niamah"
- "Fark, Lanciao (CEO) is a farker la. Smart and rich but with an EQ of an ant. Sorry, ants have higher EQ. Ok, ant poop"
Banker Wanker : "Muahahaha"
+++
My prophecies for next year:
- The economy will continue to be bearish though the job market in the financial sector would likely be fairly robust. There will be more attrition from Bankerland and there will be senior management movements, which will lead to even more attrition. Bankerland will continue to lose market share.
- Somebody is going to sleep with somebody in the office. It won't be Banker Wanker cause he never have such luck.(*throws away stupid 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
- A hot girl will join Bankerland, specifically, in Banker Wanker's department (oh God, let it be. *Rummages through bin for discarded 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
+++
What does it say when I don't look forward to weekends anymore?
- Alone(Hearts)
- How Can I Tell Her (Lobo)
- Theme song from Airwolf (feeding Bumblebee feels like a mission. Cry.make milk asap.pick up.placement on lap.put napkin.aim teat into cavity.feed.burp.feed.burp.back to cot.DONE)
Current state of mind: Brewing between denial and acceptance, with a chance of prolonged mental anguish. Sunny days not expected in the foreseeable future, hailstorms and thunder likely. Cloudy skies definite.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland last month:
- "I think for this one, we need to doggy-style it la, bang bang"
- "We shall optimise our resources and ride this out"
Banker Wanker : "Niamah"
- "Fark, Lanciao (CEO) is a farker la. Smart and rich but with an EQ of an ant. Sorry, ants have higher EQ. Ok, ant poop"
Banker Wanker : "Muahahaha"
+++
My prophecies for next year:
- The economy will continue to be bearish though the job market in the financial sector would likely be fairly robust. There will be more attrition from Bankerland and there will be senior management movements, which will lead to even more attrition. Bankerland will continue to lose market share.
- Somebody is going to sleep with somebody in the office. It won't be Banker Wanker cause he never have such luck.(*throws away stupid 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
- A hot girl will join Bankerland, specifically, in Banker Wanker's department (oh God, let it be. *Rummages through bin for discarded 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot*)
+++
What does it say when I don't look forward to weekends anymore?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Capon
Yesterday, Capon(the boss, means a castrated cock) ambles over and started making some general comments on the status of a deal that I have been running solo since day 1 without much support. Trying to choke back my vomit consisting of a nice wantan mee and siew yoke lunch, the spiel reeks of "Oh, I better talk to my team heads once in a while to show that I STILL CARE and that I am on top of things". Jeez, great leadership skills Capon.*clap clap*
+++
I blame all these bitterness on the year-end-contemplative-lets reflect on my achievement mood. And this is further exacerbated by some changes in the Soulmate front. Basically, I see no reason to stay in Bankerland anymore, except for financial reasons.....but really, can one truly live for that reason alone? Of course the guilty, responsible part of me says that the financial aspect is important to the Hive and it pays for Bumblebee's milk powder, but I suppose some sacrifices and financial discipline might do the trick?
Fark, in my 30s and I am still in denial.
+++
I wonder if I were to drink enough umesyu, would my fart smell like plums?
I hate farewells.
+++
What happens when there's no more rhyme
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ylfu_debbie-gibson-no-more-rhyme_music
+++
I blame all these bitterness on the year-end-contemplative-lets reflect on my achievement mood. And this is further exacerbated by some changes in the Soulmate front. Basically, I see no reason to stay in Bankerland anymore, except for financial reasons.....but really, can one truly live for that reason alone? Of course the guilty, responsible part of me says that the financial aspect is important to the Hive and it pays for Bumblebee's milk powder, but I suppose some sacrifices and financial discipline might do the trick?
Fark, in my 30s and I am still in denial.
+++
I wonder if I were to drink enough umesyu, would my fart smell like plums?
I hate farewells.
+++
What happens when there's no more rhyme
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ylfu_debbie-gibson-no-more-rhyme_music
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
65% for 100%
From sleep deprived state of mind and after effects of 3 glasses of Umesyu and a glass of wine last night, during Bumblebee's 4a.m feed:
Hi, I am Banker Wanker, and I am an investment banker who specializes in giving you 65% of my effort while making you feel like you are getting 100%. Tomorrow, you will wake up feeling like a million buckeroos not knowing I have short changed you. Thank you for banking at Bankerland, the only bank that CAN and WILL satisfy you. *porcelain smile, flashing perfect white teeth*
Yesterday, Sidekick and I traded goss. It was overwhelming to the extent we had to load up on Japo food and umesyu (the ones that sat with me during my 4a.m milk run) after work, to sort of suss out what we knew. My conclusion is; Irregardless of what dark secrets you have lurking in the closet, you are still you and your real friends will always be there for you.
+++
So, truly, is it wrong to give 65% knowing that it is a 100% for the other person? Would it be considered cheating? (in the case of a relationship where one partner gives 65% effort into the relationship, and that 65% is good enough for the other partner). Can one be entirely happy giving 65% and leaving the rest of the 35% to someone else perhaps?
Damn, since when relationships were measured in percentages?
I am so screwed and it isn't even the pleasurable kind.
+++
An original piece by Banker Wanker:
She whispers her promises gently into my ears, words painted in hues of spring, but like spring, that bring promises of life and hope, summer like a distant echo looms beyond the hills, autumn lies in turn on the horizon, and therein lies sadness, embedded in winter’s cold silence.
Painted in hues of spring, promises of life and hope, she glides along caressing weary souls, gently whispering that all which troubles, is but for a moment, and that only is important, which is eternal.
Hi, I am Banker Wanker, and I am an investment banker who specializes in giving you 65% of my effort while making you feel like you are getting 100%. Tomorrow, you will wake up feeling like a million buckeroos not knowing I have short changed you. Thank you for banking at Bankerland, the only bank that CAN and WILL satisfy you. *porcelain smile, flashing perfect white teeth*
Yesterday, Sidekick and I traded goss. It was overwhelming to the extent we had to load up on Japo food and umesyu (the ones that sat with me during my 4a.m milk run) after work, to sort of suss out what we knew. My conclusion is; Irregardless of what dark secrets you have lurking in the closet, you are still you and your real friends will always be there for you.
+++
So, truly, is it wrong to give 65% knowing that it is a 100% for the other person? Would it be considered cheating? (in the case of a relationship where one partner gives 65% effort into the relationship, and that 65% is good enough for the other partner). Can one be entirely happy giving 65% and leaving the rest of the 35% to someone else perhaps?
Damn, since when relationships were measured in percentages?
I am so screwed and it isn't even the pleasurable kind.
+++
An original piece by Banker Wanker:
She whispers her promises gently into my ears, words painted in hues of spring, but like spring, that bring promises of life and hope, summer like a distant echo looms beyond the hills, autumn lies in turn on the horizon, and therein lies sadness, embedded in winter’s cold silence.
Painted in hues of spring, promises of life and hope, she glides along caressing weary souls, gently whispering that all which troubles, is but for a moment, and that only is important, which is eternal.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A Collage Of Memories
Its the final month of the year, how time flies.
--Just last night, I was Bumblebee's pillow...
--Last week, I told Sidekick the story, untold for 3 years...
--Last month, the team and I closed one of the largest issuance of the year and it didn't feel special anymore...
--Last year, I was running solo on a transaction that wasn't mine...
--Two years back, Grumps and I were in our seasonal melancholy mood...
--Three years back, unknowingly and unexpectedly, Soulmate appeared and never left...
"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity"...I tried at times, "stabbing" aimlessly at a moment that left me suspended and vulnerable only to realise I was in fact "stabbing" a part of me. And that is where I am now, stuck in a moment i can't get out (cue U2's song).
"Sekecil burung ke titi, adinda terbang ke hati kekanda, mengharapkan cinta yang mengunung"
"Walau patah sayap rajawali , bertongkat jua hamba kemari"
--Just last night, I was Bumblebee's pillow...
--Last week, I told Sidekick the story, untold for 3 years...
--Last month, the team and I closed one of the largest issuance of the year and it didn't feel special anymore...
--Last year, I was running solo on a transaction that wasn't mine...
--Two years back, Grumps and I were in our seasonal melancholy mood...
--Three years back, unknowingly and unexpectedly, Soulmate appeared and never left...
"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity"...I tried at times, "stabbing" aimlessly at a moment that left me suspended and vulnerable only to realise I was in fact "stabbing" a part of me. And that is where I am now, stuck in a moment i can't get out (cue U2's song).
"Sekecil burung ke titi, adinda terbang ke hati kekanda, mengharapkan cinta yang mengunung"
"Walau patah sayap rajawali , bertongkat jua hamba kemari"
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