Welcome to Bankerland

Overheard in Bankerland this week:

--Small Dick :"Eh, Puchong Boy, where is my scientific calculator"
(Small Dick is actually quite threatened by Puchong Boy who is a newbie)
Puchong Boy :"In my bag, I am almost done with it"
Small Dick : "Faster la, I got some important calculations to do"
Banker Wanker : *Rolls eyes* ...yar right, calculating the length of
your dick issit?

-- General's Secretary : "Banker Wanker, can you drive boss to meeting
today? He got no car"
Banker Wanker : "Can, let me go and buy a car this morning first"
*with dead pan look*
General's Secretary : "Hehe" *nervous guffaw*
Bad enough I am underpaid, have to waste petrol from additional weight
in the car. Lan ciao bin.

--Banker Wanker : "Capon, this ain't my deal,its Babi Guling and his team
head's deal, what am I doing here and why am I running it?"
Capon : "The General wants you to be in because you know the client"
Banker Wanker : "But I already have so many on my plate, Baby Guling and his boss only have ONE deal currently"
Capon : :"Its ok, you can combine resources"
Banker Wanker : *Gives niamah smiling look*
Capon, I wish that you will grow a dick back, then we can capon you again just for the heck of it.

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Talent management, wow, what a buzz word. Bankerland is embarking on some talent management programme. They require "potential" candidates to fill up this lengthy profile form whick reeks of "Actually hor, we in HR do not really know who the talents are out there, so we are using this form and sending it to everyone who are holding senior managerial positions and above to see if there are any talents out there".

Banker Wanker :"Capon, you know about this?"
Capon :"Yes, you fall within the bank's critical talent pool for
high performers and have been identified as potential
successor in leadership sucession planning"
Banker Wanker only hears blah blah blah blah. Sharpens knife for capon session. *Smiling dementedly just thinking about it*

+++
Seriously, I think I have perfected my dead pan, blur sotong, look interested, smiling dementedly looks.

General :"We need to follow up with this client on the pitch, other banks
are infront apparently. Please call the finance manager to see
whats going on"
Banker Wanker : *Wide eyed, put on interested look* "Yes, yes, we should do that, ok got to go" *runs like a guy being chased by 5
butch females on Harley Davidson bikes adorned with
battery operated dildos*

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Goldman Sachs just got an advisory license in Kay-El. Any takers?