Banker Wanker has been busy busting chops and running solo on work due to some resource constraints at this juncture. He refuses to say anything more to the bosses to try to address the situation. Also, he realizes that work can be a good distraction from having to face his inner demons that are threatening to spill out from his chubby frame.
Have a good three day weekend for those working in the Federal Territories. Meanwhile, enjoy this post from Metrodad, Diary Of A Single Dad. Will see y'all soon yar.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sorry, I Just Want To Be Happy
I recalled as a kid how hard it was to say sorry, as the word ultimately meant an admission of wrongdoing, of guilt, of regret and at times, of failure. As we grew up, sorry was surely the quickest way to avoid prolonged nagging and to escape the stickiest of situations, merely paying lip service to the word without actually meaning it. I believe sorry is the single most used word peppered in our everyday conversations, spoken meaninglessly without actually meaning them.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word, which is what Elton John sang. And I just realised that when he sang it, it wasn’t merely from the perspective of the person who has to say sorry, but also the receiver. From this perspective, sorry can be the saddest word. “Sorry, I don’t love you” “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it” “Sorry, I can’t give you that” “Sorry, you don’t mean anything to me”. For the receiving end, the word often times meant confirmation of an unfortunate and tragic fact, affirmation of a suspicion or betrayal, closure, sorrow and sadness, among others. It is truly the hardest and saddest word at times...
+++
Overheard in Banker Wanker's world:
Midori : "I am really sorry"
Banker Wanker : "Its okay, really, it is"
Banker Wanker hopes that that is all the sorry for the year he will get. Also, this is the last posting on Midori, let bygones be bygones.
+++
Leona Lewis says it all in her latest hit Happy
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free
I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be
So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah
Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear
But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here
Sorry seems to be the hardest word, which is what Elton John sang. And I just realised that when he sang it, it wasn’t merely from the perspective of the person who has to say sorry, but also the receiver. From this perspective, sorry can be the saddest word. “Sorry, I don’t love you” “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it” “Sorry, I can’t give you that” “Sorry, you don’t mean anything to me”. For the receiving end, the word often times meant confirmation of an unfortunate and tragic fact, affirmation of a suspicion or betrayal, closure, sorrow and sadness, among others. It is truly the hardest and saddest word at times...
+++
Overheard in Banker Wanker's world:
Midori : "I am really sorry"
Banker Wanker : "Its okay, really, it is"
Banker Wanker hopes that that is all the sorry for the year he will get. Also, this is the last posting on Midori, let bygones be bygones.
+++
Leona Lewis says it all in her latest hit Happy
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free
I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be
So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah
Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear
But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wallflower and My Cinderella
I love the fact that people generally see me as an unassuming person, largely due, I suspect, to my non-descript looks (like a Saab) and mild-mannered demeanor (like a Volvo). This works great for me, not because it presents an opportunity for me to dazzle them unexpectedly with my otherwise magnetic personality and charm *rolls eyes*, but because I love being a wallflower nowadays. I was never always like that though and the idea of being indistinguishable and absolutely normal in the sea of people was not something I aspire in the past. Maybe its because I have earned some stripes and I don’t feel the inclination to try to push my way to the front of the crowd to make a point. I had rather have my work and record do the talking. Maybe I am just burnt out and know that an incremental effort doesn’t translate into proportionate returns. I hope I can put it all together soon with my own Cinderella...
Chorus to One Headlight by the Wallflowers
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
Small Dick: "Sher ah, wo man sher shor, finance calculator, absolute return hor, ni men paper, how shor ah, woh ai ni ah..etc etc"
Fresh Siew Pau: "Sher ah, won puh huei ming pai ah, hen haou ah, woh meh you ai ni ah, rate of return hen hou ah..etc etc"
Banker Wanker: *gives ninja death stare* "Please speak in English"
Banker Wanker supports the idea of mastering several languages and speaking in dialects to preserve the languages as part of UNESCO's worldwide campaign. But when it is in relation to work discussion by two employees who are currently struggling with English (both conversational and written), the least they could do is to try to converse in English in work related matters.
Banker Wanker apologizes for the lousy mandarin transcript above as Banker Wanker does not speak his own mother tongue. Please forward all grouses, complaints and Chairman Mao's funded hate mails to my dear mum and dad at WeLoveABC@geemail.com :)
Chorus to One Headlight by the Wallflowers
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
Small Dick: "Sher ah, wo man sher shor, finance calculator, absolute return hor, ni men paper, how shor ah, woh ai ni ah..etc etc"
Fresh Siew Pau: "Sher ah, won puh huei ming pai ah, hen haou ah, woh meh you ai ni ah, rate of return hen hou ah..etc etc"
Banker Wanker: *gives ninja death stare* "Please speak in English"
Banker Wanker supports the idea of mastering several languages and speaking in dialects to preserve the languages as part of UNESCO's worldwide campaign. But when it is in relation to work discussion by two employees who are currently struggling with English (both conversational and written), the least they could do is to try to converse in English in work related matters.
Banker Wanker apologizes for the lousy mandarin transcript above as Banker Wanker does not speak his own mother tongue. Please forward all grouses, complaints and Chairman Mao's funded hate mails to my dear mum and dad at WeLoveABC@geemail.com :)
Monday, January 25, 2010
KL...My Identity
I caught up with some old friends from my previous work place recently and we couldn't help but notice how our conversations have changed over the years. Back then, when we were all single and fairly fresh around the gills, it was about what we would do in the future, bitching about the bosses, politics and checking out girls over teh tarik...just shooting the breeze. With most of us now married with kids, the conversations have gone to breast pumps (single vs double, power output etc), lactation (heavy flow or dripping), cradling techniques (shoulder vs chest), formula milk (brands and pricing) and sex (the lack of it that is). How times have changed.
+++
I love to drive around KL (non peak hours or weekends only of course), using routes that I am familiar with and sometimes even driving into unexplored areas to see where it leads me to. I have been living in KL for most of my teen and adult life, have experienced the myriad ways of getting around KL (when mini buses in different colors were in vogue) and have fond memories of various places, eateries, malls, shops, hideouts and even pathways. While it is a rare occasion for me to be walking around KL nowadays, my drives around KL, in the comfort of my Japanese tin can does elicit a sense of deja-vu and at different sights, sounds and even smells, I can almost transport myself back to those carefree days when I used to roam around KL with my buddies and ex'es; remembering the drink stall where we pit stopped on the way to the bus station, the uncle that used to sell traditional chinese candies, the makcik frying rancid smelling keropok lekor and the rempit baskers crooning old-school malay and english rock songs. KL has definitely changed since then with the sky scrapers, new watering holes, ultra expensive condominiums and LRT/monorail lines snaking above. Some are good, some are bad and a lot of them are unnecessary. But there are still parts of KL that has remained relatively unchanged, providing glimpses of what it was, like a window to the past. I like these unchanging parts of KL, it is its identity, and while I look out of the window from Bankerland, I feel an affinity to it cause it is a microcosm of my past self which I can relate to...the rest, as the saying goes, no longer is...
+++
I love to drive around KL (non peak hours or weekends only of course), using routes that I am familiar with and sometimes even driving into unexplored areas to see where it leads me to. I have been living in KL for most of my teen and adult life, have experienced the myriad ways of getting around KL (when mini buses in different colors were in vogue) and have fond memories of various places, eateries, malls, shops, hideouts and even pathways. While it is a rare occasion for me to be walking around KL nowadays, my drives around KL, in the comfort of my Japanese tin can does elicit a sense of deja-vu and at different sights, sounds and even smells, I can almost transport myself back to those carefree days when I used to roam around KL with my buddies and ex'es; remembering the drink stall where we pit stopped on the way to the bus station, the uncle that used to sell traditional chinese candies, the makcik frying rancid smelling keropok lekor and the rempit baskers crooning old-school malay and english rock songs. KL has definitely changed since then with the sky scrapers, new watering holes, ultra expensive condominiums and LRT/monorail lines snaking above. Some are good, some are bad and a lot of them are unnecessary. But there are still parts of KL that has remained relatively unchanged, providing glimpses of what it was, like a window to the past. I like these unchanging parts of KL, it is its identity, and while I look out of the window from Bankerland, I feel an affinity to it cause it is a microcosm of my past self which I can relate to...the rest, as the saying goes, no longer is...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
As Time Goes By
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Banker Wanker : "Why isn't this clause incorporated into the mandate letter?"
Fresh Siew Pau : "I dunno, but Snoop Dawg told me once before, but I can't remember now" *looks at Snoop Dawg, manja tone* "Snooop Dawwgggg, tell me, tell me again laa"
Snoop Dawg : *gives wtf look*
Banker Wanker : "Think it through on your own first"
Fresh Siew Pau : "Ok" *goes behind later and continues to bug Snoop Dawg*
Banker Wanker thinks some people deserves to be slapped out of their bubble and into reality.
-- Isabella : "You were good at the meeting just now, client was hanging on to every word you said"
Banker Wanker : "I was just winging it, I think there were some mistakes"
Isabella : "Well, it was convincing enough"
Banker Wanker : "Amazing how we can convince other people, but not ourselves when it matters most"
Banker Wanker thinks that sometimes we are all too harsh on ourselves and that we ought to give ourselves a break once in a while.
+++
I have shared with others how it felt like to turn 30 some years back and now after a couple of years into my 3rd decade, it is truly scary how time flies by in a blink of an eye. Perhaps as we get older, and as more worldly things are thrust upon us, we spend the finite time we have trying to juggle 6 balls in the air, focusing just on the moment itself, day in day out. And in these moments, it is almost impossible to really cherish the time we have as all our energy and consciousness is devoted to the task at hand, of trying to keep the 6 balls up in the air. This is exacerbated by the growing list of things to do and unfulfilled goals, desires and achievements which just gets longer and longer by the year. We feel caved in by the finite time we have to try to make an impact and perhaps in our haste to achieve something, we may succumb to short cuts and halfheartedness, never really fulfilling one's potential and ultimately leading to a less than desired outcome in every aspect of our lives. I hope this is not the case for you and I hope it is not for me for much longer....
"But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." – Gibran
-- Banker Wanker : "Why isn't this clause incorporated into the mandate letter?"
Fresh Siew Pau : "I dunno, but Snoop Dawg told me once before, but I can't remember now" *looks at Snoop Dawg, manja tone* "Snooop Dawwgggg, tell me, tell me again laa"
Snoop Dawg : *gives wtf look*
Banker Wanker : "Think it through on your own first"
Fresh Siew Pau : "Ok" *goes behind later and continues to bug Snoop Dawg*
Banker Wanker thinks some people deserves to be slapped out of their bubble and into reality.
-- Isabella : "You were good at the meeting just now, client was hanging on to every word you said"
Banker Wanker : "I was just winging it, I think there were some mistakes"
Isabella : "Well, it was convincing enough"
Banker Wanker : "Amazing how we can convince other people, but not ourselves when it matters most"
Banker Wanker thinks that sometimes we are all too harsh on ourselves and that we ought to give ourselves a break once in a while.
+++
I have shared with others how it felt like to turn 30 some years back and now after a couple of years into my 3rd decade, it is truly scary how time flies by in a blink of an eye. Perhaps as we get older, and as more worldly things are thrust upon us, we spend the finite time we have trying to juggle 6 balls in the air, focusing just on the moment itself, day in day out. And in these moments, it is almost impossible to really cherish the time we have as all our energy and consciousness is devoted to the task at hand, of trying to keep the 6 balls up in the air. This is exacerbated by the growing list of things to do and unfulfilled goals, desires and achievements which just gets longer and longer by the year. We feel caved in by the finite time we have to try to make an impact and perhaps in our haste to achieve something, we may succumb to short cuts and halfheartedness, never really fulfilling one's potential and ultimately leading to a less than desired outcome in every aspect of our lives. I hope this is not the case for you and I hope it is not for me for much longer....
"But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." – Gibran
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
"Banker Wanker, why you so antisocial wannnnn..."
I couldn't remember the last time I was home alone for the night. But with an early flight to catch in the morning and feeling like something the cat dragged in, the grand plans I had bubbling in my head during the ride back simmered to a packed noodle dinner, wantons and a nice flute of bubbly. With the TV on the background, a bowl of noodles on my lap and highly spaced out, a profound feeling of melancholy settled in. I took a large swig of bubbly, look at the bubbles shift around in the flute and feel slightly better as the alcohol seeps in. Washed up and took a final swig straight from the bottle and crashed into bed hoping for a dreamless night to ease the ache...predictably it didn't, but at least I was alive, and the pounding sound of my heartbeat in my head was a reminder of that. At least I have that for now...
+++
I didn't particularly have an enjoyable weekend, and while I do enjoy taking care of Bumblebee, he was in one of his moods that meant extreme crankiness and crying. Boy, does he have a temper and to think he likely got it from me, so that is karma for you. I think the lack of personal time is getting to me, so much so that I actually look forward to spending some 'quality' time in the bathroom i.e longer showers, reading a book while I am sitting on the throne etc etc. I blame these antisocial tendencies on my lonely upbringing where books and drawing blocks were my friends. Mom and dad were almost never around while bro (who was way older than me) had his pimples and scrawny girls to worry about. I suppose it is all meant to be, cause since I am in no position to be social nowadays, the least I have is the ability to enjoy my antisocial tendencies. I don't expect everyone to get this, but I am sure there are a few disquiet souls out there who comprehends. Cheers to that, we are not alone....
+++
Apologies for not posting earlier, Banker Wanker has been busy helping clients to get richer. What's in it for me I hear you ask...well, got to fill up my bowl of peanuts. Dang, multicolored jelly beans are so elusive. :)
+++
I didn't particularly have an enjoyable weekend, and while I do enjoy taking care of Bumblebee, he was in one of his moods that meant extreme crankiness and crying. Boy, does he have a temper and to think he likely got it from me, so that is karma for you. I think the lack of personal time is getting to me, so much so that I actually look forward to spending some 'quality' time in the bathroom i.e longer showers, reading a book while I am sitting on the throne etc etc. I blame these antisocial tendencies on my lonely upbringing where books and drawing blocks were my friends. Mom and dad were almost never around while bro (who was way older than me) had his pimples and scrawny girls to worry about. I suppose it is all meant to be, cause since I am in no position to be social nowadays, the least I have is the ability to enjoy my antisocial tendencies. I don't expect everyone to get this, but I am sure there are a few disquiet souls out there who comprehends. Cheers to that, we are not alone....
+++
Apologies for not posting earlier, Banker Wanker has been busy helping clients to get richer. What's in it for me I hear you ask...well, got to fill up my bowl of peanuts. Dang, multicolored jelly beans are so elusive. :)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Multicolored Jelly Beans
Wanderlust in her eyes, trimmed silhouette, new curls. Banker Wanker feels a tug and goes to the mug. Just when I thought I was cruising along the highway of reverie, I was in fact on the highway of suspended misery.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Capon : "I have told The General that we got to move away from this low cost mentality and start paying for talents, including addressing the pay issues for our existing staff"
Banker Wanker : *nods silently*
Capon : "Frankly, I am also feeling demotivated from all the expensive hires downstairs, and they can't even deliver!"
Banker Wanker : *nods more*
Capon : "My work load is increasing by the day and I am being paid peanuts"
Banker Wanker : *Gasp, there is actually more than peanuts out there??*
Banker Wanker looks at bowl of peanuts and is now fixated with the quest for multicolored jelly beans instead. Yumm...
-- Cherry Merry : "Eh Banker Wanker, how are you la"
Banker Wanker : "I am ok, how are things in Low Key Bank?"
Cherry Merry : "Ok la, been trying to find a head, business as usual lorr. Eh, you looking to leave or not? I want to hire you la, this year. Come and join us la"
Banker Wanker : "Got push factor already, waiting for pull, but want to collect my year end peanuts first"
Cherry Merry : "That means can explore laa"
Banker Wanker : "Definitely, I give you a call when I am ready?"
Cherry Merry : "Ok, set"
Banker Wanker sees jelly beans, but don't know if they are multicolored or not.
+++
This post in Marc and Angel speaks to me as I have been contemplating for the longest time to pursue some business ventures on my own. Not for the lack of ideas, it has been a road paved with procrastination and fear. I don't profess to have much, so there is not much to lose from failure, but the little I have means a lot to my dependents. And the pessimist in me knows that out of 10 new business ventures, 8 would be flops. We only hear people raving about the success stories but never those that went into the doldrums. But lately, I have started to take some concrete steps in my spare time to put some pieces together, in hope that as more pieces fall together, the fear in me can be assuage. It is beginning to dawn on me that the potential financial rewards is secondary to the pursuit of creating something that you can truly call as your own. To continue in Bankerland is not a choice anymore but a necessity to pay the bills. So this venture that I hope to pursue is a need; a need to live a little, to maintain some semblance of sanity and to proof to myself that I can do something meaningful. Stay tune, its time to get a move on now...
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
-- Capon : "I have told The General that we got to move away from this low cost mentality and start paying for talents, including addressing the pay issues for our existing staff"
Banker Wanker : *nods silently*
Capon : "Frankly, I am also feeling demotivated from all the expensive hires downstairs, and they can't even deliver!"
Banker Wanker : *nods more*
Capon : "My work load is increasing by the day and I am being paid peanuts"
Banker Wanker : *Gasp, there is actually more than peanuts out there??*
Banker Wanker looks at bowl of peanuts and is now fixated with the quest for multicolored jelly beans instead. Yumm...
-- Cherry Merry : "Eh Banker Wanker, how are you la"
Banker Wanker : "I am ok, how are things in Low Key Bank?"
Cherry Merry : "Ok la, been trying to find a head, business as usual lorr. Eh, you looking to leave or not? I want to hire you la, this year. Come and join us la"
Banker Wanker : "Got push factor already, waiting for pull, but want to collect my year end peanuts first"
Cherry Merry : "That means can explore laa"
Banker Wanker : "Definitely, I give you a call when I am ready?"
Cherry Merry : "Ok, set"
Banker Wanker sees jelly beans, but don't know if they are multicolored or not.
+++
This post in Marc and Angel speaks to me as I have been contemplating for the longest time to pursue some business ventures on my own. Not for the lack of ideas, it has been a road paved with procrastination and fear. I don't profess to have much, so there is not much to lose from failure, but the little I have means a lot to my dependents. And the pessimist in me knows that out of 10 new business ventures, 8 would be flops. We only hear people raving about the success stories but never those that went into the doldrums. But lately, I have started to take some concrete steps in my spare time to put some pieces together, in hope that as more pieces fall together, the fear in me can be assuage. It is beginning to dawn on me that the potential financial rewards is secondary to the pursuit of creating something that you can truly call as your own. To continue in Bankerland is not a choice anymore but a necessity to pay the bills. So this venture that I hope to pursue is a need; a need to live a little, to maintain some semblance of sanity and to proof to myself that I can do something meaningful. Stay tune, its time to get a move on now...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Simple Things.
Attended some training in Bankerland Academy in the first half of the morning yesterday and thereafter went to the maid agency to fill up the forms to bring in help for Bumblebee. Was on the way back to Bankerland, and was on a look out for a quick lunch somewhere and that was when I spied a van with the big ass sign "pesambor dan cendol" under a tree somewhere near Taman Megah. Swung in my Japanese tin can, parked, made my order of pesambor, tambah sotong, tambah kelapa, took out my cuffs, rolled up my sleeves, sat under the tree and tucked into my plate...sun shining, food was good, no conversations......bliss, the simple things in life.
+++
My mum has been bugging me about getting a health checkup and my blood pressure condition and all. She says its time I take the pill (blood pressure pill, in case you are wondering why I need THE pill). Obviously I have resisted thus far due to the life time commitment of the pill but slowly but surely, it is an inevitable decision I would have to make soon. Perhaps it is for the better, then I can stop fretting about whether my condition could possibly cripple my future employment opportunities. For the life of me, I can never understand the thinking behind the fear and phobia of going to the doctor. Cause, really, the promise of a better and longer life should outweigh that fear 2000 to 1? Could it be the fear of discovering an illness that will shorten my life or an ailment that will require drastic changes in my lifestyle? Is the underlying fear one of mortality or the fear of change (to my state of mind and lifestyle)? Shouldn't the existence of Bumblebee means I got to do better for myself so that he can have his dad around to play ball, wrestle and gawk at women together?
I am either a selfish person or a person that doesn't believe that he deserves to have a long life. How did I ever become any of these? My umesyu bottles, here I come...
+++
Overheard in Bankerland's carpark after hours:
Energizer Bunny Girl : boing boing "Banker Wanker! You are shrinking!"
Banker Wanker : "Yeah, its all the sex la, damn woman"
Energizer Bunny Girl : stops boing-ing "Huh?"
Banker Wanker : "I meant, since my kid came out, I have been shrinking"
Energizer Bunny Girl : "Ohh, hehe, what a funny term, came out..."
Banker Wanker : "Yah watttt *hand gestures of baby coming out from crotch area* "
Banker Wanker doesn't think Energizer Bunny Girl will ever initiate conversations again.. :)
+++
I am hankering for some German pork knuckle today, I think I am going to Hutong food court for lunch. Ahh, the simple things....oink oink.
+++
My mum has been bugging me about getting a health checkup and my blood pressure condition and all. She says its time I take the pill (blood pressure pill, in case you are wondering why I need THE pill). Obviously I have resisted thus far due to the life time commitment of the pill but slowly but surely, it is an inevitable decision I would have to make soon. Perhaps it is for the better, then I can stop fretting about whether my condition could possibly cripple my future employment opportunities. For the life of me, I can never understand the thinking behind the fear and phobia of going to the doctor. Cause, really, the promise of a better and longer life should outweigh that fear 2000 to 1? Could it be the fear of discovering an illness that will shorten my life or an ailment that will require drastic changes in my lifestyle? Is the underlying fear one of mortality or the fear of change (to my state of mind and lifestyle)? Shouldn't the existence of Bumblebee means I got to do better for myself so that he can have his dad around to play ball, wrestle and gawk at women together?
I am either a selfish person or a person that doesn't believe that he deserves to have a long life. How did I ever become any of these? My umesyu bottles, here I come...
+++
Overheard in Bankerland's carpark after hours:
Energizer Bunny Girl : boing boing "Banker Wanker! You are shrinking!"
Banker Wanker : "Yeah, its all the sex la, damn woman"
Energizer Bunny Girl : stops boing-ing "Huh?"
Banker Wanker : "I meant, since my kid came out, I have been shrinking"
Energizer Bunny Girl : "Ohh, hehe, what a funny term, came out..."
Banker Wanker : "Yah watttt *hand gestures of baby coming out from crotch area* "
Banker Wanker doesn't think Energizer Bunny Girl will ever initiate conversations again.. :)
+++
I am hankering for some German pork knuckle today, I think I am going to Hutong food court for lunch. Ahh, the simple things....oink oink.
Monday, January 11, 2010
On The Road ..One Day
The Queen and I are serious movie buffs and since Bumblebee's arrival, we have had to be pretty selective on the movies that we catch on the big screen (we have my mum and maid to thank for babysitting Bumblebee). Thus far, we have caught Avatar (I still long to hump a Na'vi chick) and Sherlock Holmes (dark but interesting interpretation of the characters, Robert Downey can do no wrong). Two movies in as many months is bad by our standards, but the releases have not been great and we have had to prioritize. Which means our DVD purchases have ramped up, much to the delight of Rupi, our friendly neighborhood entrepreneur who swears that pirated DVDs are good for the local movie industry. Not wishing to argue with him (largely due to the exposed flower tattoo and fairly impressive biceps) I normally make my purchases quickly and scoot out in a cloud of anonymity. Before you folks berate me on supporting the triads, copy right infringement and indirectly supporting vice activities etc etc...look, I am not proud of buying pirated stuff and in my very-weak defense, its about the only pirated/fake stuff that I buy on a regular basis. Home entertainment after a day of milk runs, burping, poo handling and night feeds is a NEED for new parents, like what cocaine is to [fill in name of any Hollywood star) and sex is to [fill in name of any male on planet earth].
So, movies watched at home recently; Twilight, Revolutionary Road and Blood The Last Vampire. Don't ask me why there is so many vampire themed movies in the list, it was just the pick and they sucked big time (pun intended). But I tell ya, please go and watch Revolutionary Road if you have not. The subject matter speaks to my soul and is relevant to all married (soon to be married), late 20s to 30s, suburbia, medium income people out there. Kate Winslet, you are brilliant.
+++
So, if you could escape and leave the country, where would it be? I suppose the considerations would be family, kids and all, but lets live a little here and assume that you have turned into a selfish bastard and all you want to do is start a new and escape. So, yes, this is an escapism scenario. Perhaps to wintery Russia? homelife in Sicily? Tokyo? New York? London? If I was April Wheeler in Revolutionary Road, I will choose Spain, largely due to the show Spain - On The Road Again. Also because I would choose a country where I don't speak the language just so that the experience feels more foreign. If I close my eyes real hard (constipation hard), I can just imagine going around Spain in my 6 Series tourer, top down, sun is shining, James Morrison playing in the background and I am in Valencia chomping down on some paella, Catalunya for seafood, hunting the best Iberico pork in Castilla Y Leon, Madrid's churros and hot chocolate and endless coastal roads up north to Galicia. Oh, Charlize Theron (as usual) would be there with me too, but if she is tied-up with her UNICEF initiatives, I am ok settling for Claudia Bassols. She can earn her keep by licking of my fingers while we cook lobster stew on my 30 footer yacht named Charlize. :)
But seriously, have been thinking about leaving the country, more so with Bumblebee in the picture and the state of economy and social/religious disarray that the country is in.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
--- On Contract Boy : "Back when I was at Super Bank, we did this in Mega Deal etc etc and then we did that in Mega Deal 2 etc etc"
Banker Wanker : "Market in different now and we have already established ourselves as experts in these sort of transaction"
On Contract Boy : "Ok, but I know the Chairman's son so we can try to use it as leverage"
Banker Wanker : "No you can't. I have done presentations to the board of directors and its a chinaman company with the necessary quota of Bumiputra directors and Bumiputra chairman. They ultimately rely on Mr Chinaman's recommendation and we have Mr Chinaman covered"
On Contract Boy :" Oh...."
Banker Wanker : *mentally throws peace sign gawai style*
Banker Wanker feels that Bankerland is hiring too many expensive retrenched foreign investment bankers and realizing thereafter that many of them are just duds.
+++
It is 11 January today and it has been 1 month since Soulmate left and not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I miss ya, write soon.
It has been 11 days since Sidekick left and I feel the lost of a friend and confidante, I miss you dearly, see you soon.
So, movies watched at home recently; Twilight, Revolutionary Road and Blood The Last Vampire. Don't ask me why there is so many vampire themed movies in the list, it was just the pick and they sucked big time (pun intended). But I tell ya, please go and watch Revolutionary Road if you have not. The subject matter speaks to my soul and is relevant to all married (soon to be married), late 20s to 30s, suburbia, medium income people out there. Kate Winslet, you are brilliant.
+++
So, if you could escape and leave the country, where would it be? I suppose the considerations would be family, kids and all, but lets live a little here and assume that you have turned into a selfish bastard and all you want to do is start a new and escape. So, yes, this is an escapism scenario. Perhaps to wintery Russia? homelife in Sicily? Tokyo? New York? London? If I was April Wheeler in Revolutionary Road, I will choose Spain, largely due to the show Spain - On The Road Again. Also because I would choose a country where I don't speak the language just so that the experience feels more foreign. If I close my eyes real hard (constipation hard), I can just imagine going around Spain in my 6 Series tourer, top down, sun is shining, James Morrison playing in the background and I am in Valencia chomping down on some paella, Catalunya for seafood, hunting the best Iberico pork in Castilla Y Leon, Madrid's churros and hot chocolate and endless coastal roads up north to Galicia. Oh, Charlize Theron (as usual) would be there with me too, but if she is tied-up with her UNICEF initiatives, I am ok settling for Claudia Bassols. She can earn her keep by licking of my fingers while we cook lobster stew on my 30 footer yacht named Charlize. :)
But seriously, have been thinking about leaving the country, more so with Bumblebee in the picture and the state of economy and social/religious disarray that the country is in.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland:
--- On Contract Boy : "Back when I was at Super Bank, we did this in Mega Deal etc etc and then we did that in Mega Deal 2 etc etc"
Banker Wanker : "Market in different now and we have already established ourselves as experts in these sort of transaction"
On Contract Boy : "Ok, but I know the Chairman's son so we can try to use it as leverage"
Banker Wanker : "No you can't. I have done presentations to the board of directors and its a chinaman company with the necessary quota of Bumiputra directors and Bumiputra chairman. They ultimately rely on Mr Chinaman's recommendation and we have Mr Chinaman covered"
On Contract Boy :" Oh...."
Banker Wanker : *mentally throws peace sign gawai style*
Banker Wanker feels that Bankerland is hiring too many expensive retrenched foreign investment bankers and realizing thereafter that many of them are just duds.
+++
It is 11 January today and it has been 1 month since Soulmate left and not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I miss ya, write soon.
It has been 11 days since Sidekick left and I feel the lost of a friend and confidante, I miss you dearly, see you soon.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Mr. Konekbruisekow
I can't seem to add pictures/graphics into my post, the "add picture/graphics" button is not available at all. Can someone help? :( ...I am hopeless when it comes to blogging.
+++
The Queen and I have been traversing between home and the Out-laws (in-laws) to drop Bumblebee off every morning and boy, been really feeling my age. The early morning drive across west PJ and then through traffic to our respective offices in KL means I clock some serious mileage everyday. Coupled with my stoned demeanor before my morning coffee in the office, you can imagine how sunshiney I am in my Japanese tin can. I can't understand how women (the Queen in this case) wants to still have a conversation early in the morning. For me, I am just happy dodging the rempits, listening to the radio and thinking about how great Charlize Theron would look sitting in my brand new Porsche Panamera (yes, the one I am going to buy when I have earned my gazillion buckeroos). Obviously the grunts and head nods from us male folk would never suffice and things would predictably come to head with the oh-so-often-asked question cum mini statement of sorts.. "Why you so glum this morning? Bad mood ah?" Reads : "Yes, I am marginally interested to know what's wrong but hell, you better start making some coherent sounds from that gab of yours"
Me, I am thinking that 1) its way too early to be up AND having to put up with this, 2) I need coffee now and 3) the lack (err, none?) of bedroom action in the last one year has probably contributed to my glumness. *hears tiny squeaky voice from the south...ahbutthen*
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
-- Da King : "Banker Wanker, your girlfriend is here"
Banker Wanker : "Which one? Oh dear, I had some demented girlfriends in the past la...was almost placed under Traumatised Ex's BF Protection Programme weh under a Scandinavian pseudo Mr. Konekbruisekow"
Da King : "Ms Skanky la"
Banker Wanker : "Ooooohh...*looks over*...that's almost good enough to change one's name to Mr. Konekbruisekow"
Banker Wanker thinks the conversations in Bankerland are going downhill day by day laaa... :)
+++
The Queen and I have been traversing between home and the Out-laws (in-laws) to drop Bumblebee off every morning and boy, been really feeling my age. The early morning drive across west PJ and then through traffic to our respective offices in KL means I clock some serious mileage everyday. Coupled with my stoned demeanor before my morning coffee in the office, you can imagine how sunshiney I am in my Japanese tin can. I can't understand how women (the Queen in this case) wants to still have a conversation early in the morning. For me, I am just happy dodging the rempits, listening to the radio and thinking about how great Charlize Theron would look sitting in my brand new Porsche Panamera (yes, the one I am going to buy when I have earned my gazillion buckeroos). Obviously the grunts and head nods from us male folk would never suffice and things would predictably come to head with the oh-so-often-asked question cum mini statement of sorts.. "Why you so glum this morning? Bad mood ah?" Reads : "Yes, I am marginally interested to know what's wrong but hell, you better start making some coherent sounds from that gab of yours"
Me, I am thinking that 1) its way too early to be up AND having to put up with this, 2) I need coffee now and 3) the lack (err, none?) of bedroom action in the last one year has probably contributed to my glumness. *hears tiny squeaky voice from the south...ahbutthen*
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
-- Da King : "Banker Wanker, your girlfriend is here"
Banker Wanker : "Which one? Oh dear, I had some demented girlfriends in the past la...was almost placed under Traumatised Ex's BF Protection Programme weh under a Scandinavian pseudo Mr. Konekbruisekow"
Da King : "Ms Skanky la"
Banker Wanker : "Ooooohh...*looks over*...that's almost good enough to change one's name to Mr. Konekbruisekow"
Banker Wanker thinks the conversations in Bankerland are going downhill day by day laaa... :)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I Man, You Woman...Rah Rah
Currently listening to latest albums by Jamie Cullum, Colbie Callait, Train, Carrie Underwood, Robbie William, Boyz II Men, Bon Jovi and Leona Lewis. Trying to get some new sounds to spur my synapses and hope they fire more this new year. Been digging up some old stuff from my collection too to rekindle memories. Sniff sniff, 80s and 90s music are damn emo la.
+++
I truly felt lonely at the beginning of the week and was pretty lost on Monday after working hours. I didn't want to go back (don't ask me why) and I didn't have any plans for dinner or drinks and the idea of sitting alone at a bar was not appealing. It hit me then that the people that I wanted to be with most at that time was either not around or have moved on from Bankerland. I questioned if my existence was merely a reflection of these people that I have immersed myself in over the years and without them around, that I am akin to the ever changing and formless surface of the ocean at night, seen only through the reflection of the moonlight. These bouts of loneliness is intricately tied to my continued quest to try to rationalize the many roles that I play and the corresponding "faces" that I put on in both my personal and working life. I fear I am unable to say for certain which "face" is the true me and while one can argue they are all a composite of my being, I continue to struggle to identify and define what I am and it is in this failure that I am unable to be truly happy. How can one find happiness when one doesn't know himself first and foremost?
+++
With Bumblebee in the picture and the Queen back to work, my role as dad, husband and provider at home has intensified and is throwing me off my axis again. The sacrifices of trying to fit into Bumblebee's schedule is something I am still grappling with. Although I know I shouldn't, I have been comparing my level of involvement with the other dads I know, and I have to say I have been quite cemerlang. Maybe too cemerlang and my male DNA is simply rejecting it. All this expectations of what a modern dad should be must have been propagated by feminist (through women magazines and day time talk shows of course) sometime at the turn of the century. As a result, we have Metro Dads who are 1/3 daddy, 1/3 mummy and 1/3 Martha Stewart. I can just hear the hoards of women asking where they can find one of these Metro Dads for themselves to induct into full time baby making and post natal care. I suspect you would have better luck in non-Asian countries where feminism have been rah-rah- ing for a longer time. We Asian men still wear the pants and rule the house rah rah. Well at least some of us still think we do :)
+++
I truly felt lonely at the beginning of the week and was pretty lost on Monday after working hours. I didn't want to go back (don't ask me why) and I didn't have any plans for dinner or drinks and the idea of sitting alone at a bar was not appealing. It hit me then that the people that I wanted to be with most at that time was either not around or have moved on from Bankerland. I questioned if my existence was merely a reflection of these people that I have immersed myself in over the years and without them around, that I am akin to the ever changing and formless surface of the ocean at night, seen only through the reflection of the moonlight. These bouts of loneliness is intricately tied to my continued quest to try to rationalize the many roles that I play and the corresponding "faces" that I put on in both my personal and working life. I fear I am unable to say for certain which "face" is the true me and while one can argue they are all a composite of my being, I continue to struggle to identify and define what I am and it is in this failure that I am unable to be truly happy. How can one find happiness when one doesn't know himself first and foremost?
+++
With Bumblebee in the picture and the Queen back to work, my role as dad, husband and provider at home has intensified and is throwing me off my axis again. The sacrifices of trying to fit into Bumblebee's schedule is something I am still grappling with. Although I know I shouldn't, I have been comparing my level of involvement with the other dads I know, and I have to say I have been quite cemerlang. Maybe too cemerlang and my male DNA is simply rejecting it. All this expectations of what a modern dad should be must have been propagated by feminist (through women magazines and day time talk shows of course) sometime at the turn of the century. As a result, we have Metro Dads who are 1/3 daddy, 1/3 mummy and 1/3 Martha Stewart. I can just hear the hoards of women asking where they can find one of these Metro Dads for themselves to induct into full time baby making and post natal care. I suspect you would have better luck in non-Asian countries where feminism have been rah-rah- ing for a longer time. We Asian men still wear the pants and rule the house rah rah. Well at least some of us still think we do :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Banker Wanker Love Guru
Remember the times when a new year was a highly anticipated event, not just because of the celebrations but also the fact that you were about to be a year older and you can finally move up a notch in the age bracket, earn an extra stripe and get oh so much closer to the coveted yuppy age or an age where the adults actually took you seriously or an age where things are suppose to be better as your career, family life etc finally take-off? As I grow older, and I suspect for many out there in my age bracket and above, the significance of a new year is probably less celebratory and exuberant anticipation but more of a sense of mortality, uncertainty of what the year will bring and what it will mean for the future and an overall sense of "yeah, a new year, a year older, getting old hor, what now?"
Will it ever get better Banker Wanker I hear you ask? I don't really know, am still waiting to find out myself, so stay tune.
+++
Midori : "It's hard to do, this breakup thing. Am trying to move on, but its so darn hard letting go, even though you know there is no future to it. Perhaps I just don't love him enough"
Banker Wanker : "Its better and fairer for both sides in the long run, but yeah, it will hurt like hell now. I have been there, done that, so I know what you are going through. But you know about my thing with the Queen? Well, that is the consequences of not having the guts to break away...learn from me la"
Booty Call :"I am taking a time-out from my boy"
Banker Wanker :"Like any game, time outs got definite time...so what is your time frame?"
Booty Call :"Dunno, haven't figure it out yet"
Banker Wanker :"Don't let it fester, think of a time frame, otherwise, it will be hard to extract yourself...learn from me la"
Banker Wanker realizes that many people are learning from Banker Wanker's life....so great ah my life? :) Lerr...so tragic la, hence why always counseling equally tragic people...come come, sit with Banker Wanker, da Love Guru and tell me all your troubles. I am sure I have something in my trunk of life to sooth your heartaches and tears, if not I am always good for a laugh or a short roll in the hay.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
Capon : "I am blown away by the CV of that person you met, we must try to hire her"
Banker Wanker : "Yes, she is good, which means you got to pay top dollar"
Capon: "Well, we will see about that..."
Banker Wanker mentally throws 100 venom laced shirukens towards Capon's crotch area.
Isabella : "Seriously, you need to stop sending so many emails to client"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Isabella : "And you don't have to call the client EVERY single day!"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Isabella : "And please clear with me all documents before you send them out!"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Wash, rinse, spin, repeat next week. Noted
Will it ever get better Banker Wanker I hear you ask? I don't really know, am still waiting to find out myself, so stay tune.
+++
Midori : "It's hard to do, this breakup thing. Am trying to move on, but its so darn hard letting go, even though you know there is no future to it. Perhaps I just don't love him enough"
Banker Wanker : "Its better and fairer for both sides in the long run, but yeah, it will hurt like hell now. I have been there, done that, so I know what you are going through. But you know about my thing with the Queen? Well, that is the consequences of not having the guts to break away...learn from me la"
Booty Call :"I am taking a time-out from my boy"
Banker Wanker :"Like any game, time outs got definite time...so what is your time frame?"
Booty Call :"Dunno, haven't figure it out yet"
Banker Wanker :"Don't let it fester, think of a time frame, otherwise, it will be hard to extract yourself...learn from me la"
Banker Wanker realizes that many people are learning from Banker Wanker's life....so great ah my life? :) Lerr...so tragic la, hence why always counseling equally tragic people...come come, sit with Banker Wanker, da Love Guru and tell me all your troubles. I am sure I have something in my trunk of life to sooth your heartaches and tears, if not I am always good for a laugh or a short roll in the hay.
+++
Overheard in Bankerland
Capon : "I am blown away by the CV of that person you met, we must try to hire her"
Banker Wanker : "Yes, she is good, which means you got to pay top dollar"
Capon: "Well, we will see about that..."
Banker Wanker mentally throws 100 venom laced shirukens towards Capon's crotch area.
Isabella : "Seriously, you need to stop sending so many emails to client"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Isabella : "And you don't have to call the client EVERY single day!"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Isabella : "And please clear with me all documents before you send them out!"
Puchong Boy : "Noted"
Wash, rinse, spin, repeat next week. Noted
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